"Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly." -Albert Einstein
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gratitude. Show all posts

Sunday, March 29, 2015

No mystery that "dancing" & "rain" are mentioned

I've struggled for many years with MI, and only recently have I come to a conclusion as to the solution.
Yes, dancing and rain, along with walking, soft breezes, wildlife, rivers and oceans are all a part of my release from this prison. God knows, and I trust that things are even now working together for my good...
What's your remedy for longterm melancholy?

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2014/03/29/dancing-in-the-rain-learning-how-to-live-with-treatment-resistant-depression-chronic-pain/

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Recovery Coach Training

So a few weeks ago I was in the first part of the ICAADA training to be a Peer Recovery Coach. I wanted to tell you about some of the highlights, especially yesterday's walk through the hall of shame. It felt like a viewing you might go to after someone dies. I have pictures to add, but they will have to be posted later.
The topic yesterday was "Stigma". We broke up into 3 groups and each group made a list on large pieces of newsprint paper of the words that come to mind when you think about:
Alcoholics
Drug Addicts
Mentally Ill
Recovery.
Each group made a pretty extensive list.
Then we hung the lists up together in the meeting room across the hall from the classroom. We were instructed to walk through the room, single-file, silently.
The entire class walked through the room in about 15 minutes' time, then returned to our seats, still silently, considering the things we'd just read.
I will add the posters when I am able.
I think I can safely say that most of us were in tears after this reminder of who we had been, for so long. Even with so much time, so many years, between myself and the days of drinking and drugging, it brought back many painful memories.
I 'd believed the lies for so long, and run so hard after the (non-existent) rewards smoke and mirrors of the party-girl/addicts' lifestyle.In that room, with 2 dozen of our peers, we confronted our collective demons.


 Now, before I continue, I feel that I should tell you that not ALL of these adjectives described me, completely. But, yes; most did.
We discussed what had just happened. We talked about the stigmas of addiction, alcoholism, and of mental illness, all of which were represented in our group. Most of us saw our former selves on more than one of the papers.
I can't recall what my peers said, but the feelings were all the same: guilt, shame, sorrow, self-loathing, to name a few.
What I shared afterward, was that it felt a lot like when I did my first 5th Step. Writing the inventory wasn't so hard, but letting someone else see the labels I'd carried around, was terrifying. I was deeply afraid that all the things I'd thought about myself, even before ever picking up, would be confirmed as true
.But what I said then, was that I'm a little bit less of that person, every day that I stay clean. I never want to be her, again.
I will be eternally grateful for the Trainers and my friends who went on that disturbing walk through the "Wall of Pain" with me. We learned, that week, how to better use our pains to help the addict/alcoholics that God will faithfully our paths.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I'd like to have more security. How about you?

"Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively, unless you can choose a challenge instead of a competence."
 -Eleanor Roosevelt

Friday, October 25, 2013

Greetings from The House.





I'm sucking on my second delicious coffee since about 9 pm, and I thought this would be an excellent time to jot down some thoughts. Since I AM still employed at The House, I will give you some observations about some of the people I get to work (for) with. I want to preface that, though, with this statement:
Whenever there is a group of people living under the same roof, eating meals together, and kinda doing life together, they will tend to become like a family. Whether it's been a group of college kids sharing rent, or an intentional community, it would seem to be the way things are. This is not a good thing nor a bad thing. Maybe it's better than it is worse, I don't know. But as I have been allowed to watch and learn from the folks here at The House, I can see that it is even more apparent that we need each other. Us. Humans. I'm glad, today, that God created us for relationships.

In order to protect the innocent (or not so innocent) I will use ficticious names, here, of course. None of the names are of the actual residents.

Every one who lives in this place has some kind of schizo-affective disorder, (among other things) which is to say at any given moment, there's probably someone hearing things that aren't there. Lots of paraniod delusions, too, so we often have to assure our people that we are NOT poisoning them. (No comments about when I get to help cook, please. And thank you.)

I guess I'll start with my favorites, which are easily Bill and Jane.

Bill is about 50, a soft-spoken gentleman who is often paranoid, and prefers to let the person who cuts his hair, shave him. He will get a pretty good scruff going before he decides to go get "gussied up"- I like to tease him. I asked him last time if he was going to get a mani-pedi, too? He grinned at me, and said no. His grins start at his eyes and eventually spread over his whole face. 
Bill has paranoid schizophrenia, so every time he is in a vehicle we have to reassure him that "Yes, we will get there and back safe and alive." He grips the door and the cupholders while traveling.
One way we try to help him with this is to distract him while we're driving. Talking about the song on the radio is one way. Another is, when we go past the local "PNC" bank, we think of things the "PNC" might stand for. Bill thought of "Pretty Nice Chicks" once, and grinned. He clarified "I mean you know, like girls, chicks like girls." Pretty cute.
The first thing you notice about Bill, though, is the drool. He constantly drools. It's a side-effect of some of his medications, Unfortunately, it could give the impression that he's not too bright, but Bill is a smart guy. He told me that he studied architecture befoer he got sick, and checked out several books on blueprints at the library. I believe that he did. He's a smart cookie, under the mental illness.

Jane is tied for first place with Bill. She is also living with schizophrenia, almong other things. Jane talks about her thoughts falling out of her head all over the floor. She won't do to church because, as she explains it "what if I was thought-broadcasting and my thoughts flew out and hit, a Bishop, or the Minister, or something?" Jand is a delight. She is almost always smiling, and in a good mood. She comes off with some really random things, and she loves to go to the Dollar Store and buy stuff.
Jane goes to the Senior Center nearby and likes to hang out there. From what I hear, they fix lunch for them and also do a lot of crafts. Jane is a very crafty lady. Jane is about 65, but she wears her hair in a cute bob cut, and her mother still tries to boss her around. I guess some things are universal.

There are 6 other rooms here, but currently only 5 other occupants. We should be getting a "move-in" next week, which is sure to be interesting.

I love my job. I love being able to help people, I love being able to show them that I care, and helping them find solutions for their problems, even if it's the same solution, day after day. I will confide something to you, dear reader, but don't tell anyone. I feel lots of times, that I could easily have ended up in a place like this, where others get to tell you what to do, all day, and every day. Where not everyone recognises that you are a human, adult, and treats you with the respect and consideration that you deserve. I'm grateful that I have been able to get to this point with as sound a mind as I have.
But sometimes, I feel like I'm undercover. I'm really much closer to the residents here than anyone else needs to know.  ;)

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Nominated for a Liebster! Woot Woot!!

”What is a Liebster award?”
You might ask.
 In short, it is an award that bloggers pass to one another to announce to the world the blogs they think are wonderful. When a blog is nominated for a Liebster there are some rules they are supposed to follow.
First, they must thank the blogger who nominated them.
Then they must answer 10 questions which the nominating blogger has asked.
Then they must nominate other blogs they feel are worthy.
They must then write 10 questions for their nominees to answer and must notify their nominees that they have been nominated.

Here are the questions I received:

1. What do you think about sheep?
I like them very much. I want to emulate them in a spiritual sense. But not in an intellectual sense.

2. Identify your most unloved possession.  A Mac laptop

How did you acquire this thing?* I got in online.

3. Why did you think you needed it?*Thought I'd be able to master it and get out from under the heavily-virused (among other downfalls) Windows Empire.

4. How did it disappoint you?* Not for an untreated ADD mind to successfully accomplish. At that moment.

5. What is your favorite gardening tool? Fresh dirt. :)

6. What got you started blogging? I've always known I had a story to tell, and when I discovered the blogosphere, it was a natural step for me. I've been published in a hardcopy magazine once upon a time, but I like this because it's so much more personal.

7. What is the best way to build community? I wish I knew. Having give-aways seems to work for some folks.

8. When was the last time you grew something and produced a yield? last summer I was finally successful at tending to a little porch-garden. The tomatoes we got from that were by far the tastiest things EVER.

9. Did you save seeds from your yield? No. I was given them as little baby plants...:( Now I wonder if I should have? )

10. The last time you entered the wilderness, what brought you there?** My soul needs to be in the wilderness. I feel only half alive while in the concrete jungle, even as small as our current resident city is. Bliss is found in the company of birds, bugs (not including spiders, of course) and the occasional wood nymph. It's easier for me to touch the Almighty Spirit when not surrounded by so much "civilization" chaos.


I look forward to reading all of your responses.  I'm glad you are part of the blogging community, especially my little community. Blog on!


*This question was shamelessly copied out of “The Pocket Muse: Endless Inspiration” by Monica Wood, Copyright 2006 **Adapted from a question in “The Pocket Muse” ibid

As painfully far apart as my opportunities to blog have been lately, I'll have to do this in increments.

Today, I answer the Q's.

 Next time I'll send out my nominations. :)

Thanks eversomuch, to my wonderful friend, Barb, Matron and HNIC of
Groundwell Farm.

www.GroundwellFarm.com


















Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Before I dash off...

Hi. I'm so ready to be able to sit down and tell you all that's been going on. The drama, the angst, the grace, the bullsh*t....You know, life. But, alas, I'm on my way out the door after a 13-hour day. I'm not sure when we're gonna have the luxury of the internet back at the homestead. I'll try to sneak out to the library tomorrow so I can fill you in a bit.
1. Still employed. Learning a LOT about "Lateral Hostility". Wow. and from a "Christian".
2. The boy's "dad" is recovering (still) from his liver transplant. So far, so good.
3. Thanks to the recent decision to give the child medication for the AHDH, he's doing GREAT at school. I'm very proud.

Gotta run. Love and hugs~
Abs

Saturday, July 27, 2013

No longer FUNemployed!

Tomorrow I begin the 1st of 4 training shifts!
Did I tell you what I'm doing? In case I didn't,  my official position is Behavioral Health Tech. I'll be subbing, to begin, and it may turn into a full-time gig. :D
The place is a Transitional home for folks who had been living in the state psychiatric hospital. I can't tell you how happy I am for the opportunity to be an agent for POSITIVE change in these people's lives. I pray that I will be a blessing every time I am there.
Thanks for all of your prayers.
Now my sweet man & I will both be 1/2 time employees! ! :)
Oh, and the Home-schooling adventure will also be beginning directly...
Woohoo!! 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Is it Fall yet?!

Whew. It's literally sweltering here, if that's possible. By 8 am it was close to 90 degrees and it's only gotten hotter as the day's progressed. But enough about me. Let's talk about ME.
True!!

I got the job!! I think I might be done with all of the gastro-intestinal distress I'd been having since interviewing, but it's too soon to be sure. (The Big Guy teased me about it being morning sickness. SUCH a comedian!)
Yesterday morning I got to "Shadow" a lady at the Transitional Home where I'll be working. It was fun, and I loved it. It seems odd to say that about something called "WORK", but I surely did feel like I was finally home. The residents were all pretty well-behaved, and the staff was all friendly as well. I heard that Monday had been an exciting and active day, but -maybe because "Tom" took his night-time pill in the morning-yesterday it was all good.
One of the ladies "Lulu", we'll call her, has been in a hospitalized setting for her entire adult life, and yesterday she was working on her plan to move into a 1-bedroom apartment. This is HUGE for her. I'm anxious to get to know everyone, and just from a few hours there, I'm already sure it will be a great thing. We took everyone but Lulu to the library (she was going to the Dollar Store, I think), and stopped on the way back for a Polar Pop. What a treat! :) One of the gentlemen regailed me with tales-more factoids, really-of New York City, New York State, and the many places he'd worked and also some about the weather in New York-not City, but State. I guess I asked for it by responding to his naming the song title of the music playing in the van. :) Then there was "Bill", who was looking sharp in his overalls and a constant line of saliva flowing off his lower lip.
I'm excited about having a place to go and make a difference. Funny that this came (1) so soon after helping my friend to get his feet back under him, and (2) after I'd finally concluded that I am making a difference in those I live with. I guess my confidence in THAT arena has been shaken, so I hoped to find somewhere else I could be a blessing. I know that this job will help me to be a better parent, again, as I will be practicing the communication and behavioral skills at work that'll help a lot at home.
Speaking of home, my youngest goes to his "dad's" for one more week and then it's back to 2 days a week ONLY. THANK GOD. We truly spend half of each week over the summer, after the boy comes back home, trying to get him to let go of the things he learns by watching the person he's with, there.
Crazy can certainly be learned, and we're fighting an uphill battle, to help him unlearn it once he gets home.
So, if you're a praying person, please keep us in your prayers. God's got this, I know, but we can't have too much help.
Ta ta for now.
 

Friday, June 28, 2013

"A Right to be Angry"

I found this today, and it was very good. I hope you will be blessed, like I was. Something to chew on, for sure.

(Borrowed from www.shirleymcclay.com @ Sunny Glade)
 It’s from the book 1000 gifts by Ann Voskamp.  She’s asking the question ‘how do I see grace, give thanks, find joy in this sin-stinking place?’ When things are melting down really fast how does one find joy? Here are her words:
“What compels me to name these moments upheavals and annoyances instead of grace and gift? Why deprive myself of joy’s oxygen? The swiftness and starkness of the answer startle–because you believe in the power of the pit.
Really? I lay my head on the table. Do I really smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love? That Satan’s way is more powerful, more practical, more fulfilling in my daily life than Jesus’ way? Why else get angry? Isn’t it because I think complaining, exasperation, resentment will pound me up into the full life I really want? When I choose–and it is a choice–to crush joy with bitterness, am I not purposefully choosing to take the way of the Prince of Darkness? Choosing the angry way of Lucifer because I think it is more effective–more expedient–than giving thanks?”

For the next couple of days it simmered and stirred in me. And God told me that I actually have no right to anger. It may be deserved, I may be hurt, but if I have truly laid all of me down at the altar, if I am truly dead to Shirley and Christ is in control, then my right to anger and defensiveness is gone. The minute I choose them, I am picking “me” up and stepping out of “living in Christ.”
How often did Jesus get mad as he was living his life here on earth? The money-changers at the temple. He was angry for the sake of God and His church. Not for Himself. Not for how he was treated, misunderstood, falsely accused, mocked, looked down on, unappreciated, scorned, made fun of, and hated. If He is our example of how we should respond, then we need to have zero tolerance for anger towards our loved ones.
Ouch. Painfully high standard. Impossible for me. But with Him all things that He asks me to do are possible.  ”With Him” being the key. I have to accept the grace that He offers in that moment. When anger is rising up in me (call it irritation, hurt, offense, or whatever other label) I have a choice in that moment of whose power I will grasp. Will I choose God’s power (grace) and continue to abide in Christ, or will I choose Satan’s power which steals, kills, and destroys. My choice. On a minute to minute basis.
And really, what do I gain by choosing anger? Does it further me in any way? Do I reach any goals or desires by simmering and fuming? Do I become more like Christ? Am I storing up treasure in Heaven? What is the end of anger towards my loved ones… to steal, kill, and destroy. To protect “me,” to exalt “me,” to defend “me.” And to take from them. This is not His way. Our way seems right to us but it leads to death. His way leads to life.

Monday, June 24, 2013

The Boys Next Door - Norman And Sheila's Date


Here's a peek at the second movie I saw, recently. I almost lose my hope in ever finding movies that I'll feel-deeply-better after seeing. Then, I go and pick out a couple by myself, and praise God I hit pay-dirt TWICE.
This one is lighter than the other, overall, but also has it's moments that are hard to watch. The cast is GREAT and you will laugh until you cry. And you might just cry, too. Here's a clip, but you really oughta see the movie. This is only a tiny bit of it's goodness.



Monday, June 17, 2013

monday monday :)

Hello, friends! This has been a good day, even with the HIGH humidity and occasional mental sparring with the boy. He's back home for the week, and we had a simple but profitable school day so far.
After letting him sleep in till 11 (Yeah, he sets his own bedtime at the other place...so our week is spent making up for lost sleep.), we set to watering the porch garden, and admiring the babies a'sprouting (pictures to be added directly). Then we got to the Reading/Thinking class. Last time we read Matthew chapters 1-20 out of "The Message", and today we picked up at chapter 21. The Big Guy came home after 21, so we all heard & discussed chapters 22-25.
This brought up some good dialogue about why each religion is sure it's the ONE, and how can we know ours is the right one? After lunch, we viewed a dvd I've been wanting to share with E, "The Case For Christ", from the book by Lee Strobel. The boy asked if it had "Facts?" and I was very pleased to assure him that it's a LOT of facts. Mr. Strobel was an Investigative Reporter for the Chicago Tribune for many years, and he researched Jesus Christ as he would have for any other story.
Here's a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6JsvMzT-Iw

It's almost too much information for my little brain, but I hate that so much of the "Christian" world seems to think science is it's enemy. This is good stuff. Now, we ask ourselves, what are we going to do with this info?

Here are some pics of the beautiful tomatoes & peas growing in the realm of the brown thumb. ;)







Wednesday, May 29, 2013

We grow... better, or bitter?

The choice really is ours. Knowing how easily I could be bitter about the past is a great thing: it absolutely sends me back running to my Lord for another scoop. Scoop of what, you ask?
A scoop of grace, a heaping scoop of forgiveness,  a pitcher of love...and gratitude-about a gallon, daily- for reminders of what I will become if I'm not DILLIGENTLY on guard against the flood of negativity we all face every day.
I need all those things and more, in practicing love and acceptance with the people in my life.
Thank the Lord for a BETTER perspective today. And for making my little porch garden grow. :)

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Slooowwww Moooo...

Know the Sudden Signs of Stroke
Lately, I’ve been in slow-mo, as far as my blogs, especially. I think of them often, but haven’t made time for tending, much.
In 2 days, I get to (finally) go have some tests run to see (I guess) if there are any indications of permanent damage or possibly additional strokes in my future. Yeah, it’s kind of surreal to think of, but a little over a month ago, on March 20th, I had a stroke. A small one, to be sure, but nonetheless, the Dr. who knows these things, said that’s what it was. 
(Sorry if I've already told you this part.)
I woke up at about 3:30 and noticed that I was slobbering in my sleep. I wiped my mouth & laid on my other side & dozed off again…When I woke up a few minutes later, I realized that “apparently” my left arm was asleep, in addition to the left side of my mouth feeling like I’d had dental work done: numb, slobbery, and droopy. I thought “the Big Guy must’ve accidentally smacked me while we were sleeping?” No, it’s never happened before, but THAT had also never happened, so go figure. 
After checking it out in the bathroom mirror, I determined that this was something that would require waking up the Hubster, and possibly a trip to the E.R. 
This is probably as good a time as any to mention that, like more Americans than you might think, we have no insurance. This does make me think long and hard about any medical needs, as I am loathe to rack up bills that there’s little to no chance that will get paid. Hand-to-mouth doesn’t really leave much for other expenditures. 
Anyway, there is a free Medical clinic nearby and thank God they’re going to help us. Friday I’ll be spending the majority of the day being tested. MRI, EKG, Dopplar-something, and one more. The Dr. said that taking Omega-3 supplements is a GOOD thing.
After a little more than a month, I am grateful to tell you that my symptoms have just about 98% gone away. The mouth was better by the time we left the E.R. that morning, and I’ve been working with the fingers (Yeah, I’m left-handed, of course! lol) of my left hand and all but the last 2 are back to good. If I’m slow and very careful, I can write my name again, but typing is a slllooooowwwwww affair. That’s why I’ve been silent on my blogs, for the most part.
The other part of the recovery process is the mental and emotional part. I almost didn’t mention that, but in all honesty, it’s been as much of a struggle as the physical. I looked up everything I could find on strokes, right away, and there are definite things that happen as a result of having had a stroke. Depression was noticeably increased, and there is a lingering feeling of confusion…if you’ve ever watched Boston Legal, you’ll get this: word salad. A. Lot. <sigh.> But it’s getting better. 
I’m grateful that I’ve been walking with my God for long enough to know that He’s got this. Yes, it was scary, and I’m not at ALL interested in having it happen again, but I’ve had the peace that passes understanding through it all. 
My church family have prayed for me/us, and I’ve been stretching and working the muscles on my left hand & arm, as much as I know how to…In another couple of months, there will be no sign of it ever having  happened. 
Good thing, cos I’ve got LOTSA stuff to do, yet. 
So, what’s new with you? 

Monday, April 22, 2013

The mental health system changed, and so did his life

*I found this to be very encouraging. I hope you will, too.*


Friday, April 12, 2013

I don't really have a standard to compare my mental status with, now do I?

Hiya, gang! I'm checking in to let you know that I've NOT forgotten you! No, not even a little bit! The nice dr. that I saw a couple of days ago tells me that on the 20th of last month (March, if you're keeping track), I had a kind of a stroke. "TIA" I think is what they call it. ("TAI"?) What this means to you, dear reader, is that I've not been able to get enough function back in my left hand (YET) to be able to justify the time it takes to type a little. After 3 weeks, though, other than typing, I've gotten most of the use of it back. If I'm verrrry careful and go verry slowly, I can even write again. (VERRRRY) It took about a week to be able to wash my own hair, about 2 weeks to tie my shoes, and now it's all pretty good except for the fine motor stuff. Doc says it's good that I've begun taking fish oil (for Brain repair), and, being me, I'm thinking I probly shoulda been gulping those suckers down a LONG time ago. lol
Anyway, I did the speech-to-text tutorial this morning on the laptop, and I'm hoping to be able to start blogging again on a semi-regular basis, soon.
I have a whole new understanding of why old people are SO FREAKIN' SLOW!! Jeez. I guess I was due for another couple of  lessons in patience & acceptance.
So, that's the latest. As usual, my Big Guy has been my rock and a big helper ;) through out. (Only lost a FEW chunks of hair when he helped me wash it! lol) I'm pretty sure I'm not a great patient, and I appreciate him more every day.
Oh, and it's worth mentioning that the good Dr. said I need to quit the b.c. pills now, and start taking aspirin on a regular basis. Not so sure the un-hormonally-balanced me is gonna be very good for ANY of us, but....we'll see. I'm taking orders from my superiors, today.
Here's a thought for you, just in case you're curious about how things are, in a little more detail, in Wonderland: The next time you're in the bathroom, try wiping with your OTHER hand. Not feeling that brave? Ok, then just brush your teeth with the "wrong" hand. Yeah, fun, huh? So, it's been a challenge, but nothing God's not been right beside me, for the whole ordeal. THANK God for a sense of humor. : D
Love and clumsy hugs


You may be right. I may be crazy. But...bite me.




I found this recently, and I knew I'D want to read it again at some point. 
 I thought you  might want to, too. 

54 UNIQUE BENEFITS OF HOMESCHOOLING

By Joel Turtel
April 22, 2008

Parents, is homeschooling the right choice for you and your children? Maybe you think you don’t have the time to homeschool because you work. Perhaps you don’t have confidence in your ability to teach your kids because you never took “teaching” courses.

But consider the alternative. Public schools can destroy your children’s self-esteem, destroy their ability to read, strangle their love of learning, put them in physical and moral danger, and wreck their future.

In contrast, here’s 54 unique benefits homeschooling can give you and your kids, as written and explained by Laura B., a smart, wonderful wife, mother of three, homeschooler, and business owner who works from home and still focuses on her family!

Homeschooling (or low-cost internet private schools), can have the following extraordinary benefits for you and your children:
1. Be with Your Family
2. Set Your Own Schedule
3. Vacation When You Want
4. Choose curriculum that best suits the needs of your child
5. Be totally aware of the state and progress of your child's education
6. Keep your child away from un-necessary peer pressure
7. Keep your child away from the bad influence of other children
8. Love, nurture, and teach your child the character and morals you value most
9. Make learning fun
10. Make learning as "experiential" as you want
11. Don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to get your child dressed and fed and off to school where their so tired they don't learn well anyway.
12. Break up the day however you want to fit your child's learning attention span
13. Teach your child without any "assumed limitations". Teach multiple languages, develop one skill or subject--the sky's the limit
14. What you teach an older child naturally filters down to the younger child(ren) making learning must easier and faster for siblings
15. Teach at the pace and developmental stage appropriate for your child
16. Avoid educational "labeling"
17. Keep you child as far away from drugs as possible
18. Never have to worry about bomb scares or mass shootings
19. Allow your child to do think, discuss, and explore in ways not possible in a classroom setting
20. Constant positive reinforcement and gentle correction. No abusive words or actions that scar your child's psyche
21. Don't use the school system as a babysitter. You only need a few hours for learning--the rest of the day is filled with unnecessary "busy work"
22. Develop life skills such as cooking, cleaning, and organizing that are easily learned with the additional time spent at home
23. Spend as much time outdoors as you want to enjoy nature and the world around us
24. Teach the value of responsibility by providing daily jobs
25. To make money management as natural as breathing by allowing even small children to do tasks, earn money, save it, and spend it in an appropriate manner.
26. Never have your child beat up by a bully. Teach self-defense skills that will enable him to deal with any situation but not until he is mature enough to handle the emotional aspects of confrontation
27. No pressure or set "expectations" from teachers on a younger sibling that follows an older sibling in the same school
28. Be around when your child needs to talk
29. Take a break when your child needs a break
30. Bond as a family through family group activities
31. Pass on your religious beliefs and morals to your children and stay away from the "indoctrination" of other school systems
32. Teach sex education when you and how you want
33. Develop your child's imagination and teach diverse problem solving skills instead of one institutionalized method of thinking
34. Unlimited possibilities for extra curricular activities that interest your child having to live up to the expectations or skills of others.
35. Develop the individualism of your child
36. Avoid traditional school "group activities" that may leave one student doing all the work or ruining it for everyone else.
37. Never have your child feel the failure, embarrassment, or teasing from "failing" a grade
38. To keep your children out of the care, custody, and control or people you don't know and who naturally teach their philosophy of life whether they realize it or not
39. No opportunity for your child to "sluff off", "snow-blow", or "just get by" with academics
40. To have your child learn initiative naturally as there's no peer pressure or fear of embarrassing himself
41. Allow your child to have input and say in subject matter and style
42. Allow your child to focus on growth and development--not following the latest fad or being in a certain group
43. So your child will only be surrounded by people who love him, encourage him, and want the best for him.
44. Make sure your child doesn't end up graduating without knowing how to read or knowing other basic skills due to educational failings of your local schools.
45. Keep your child out of private schools that have peer pressure, teacher criticism, drugs, sex, and alcohol that your child never needs to be around
46. Avoid grading scales and testing that gives no positive benefit to your child
47. Not to give the state or federal government control of your child that they assume is theirs
48. To easily pass on your unique heritage or language to your child
49. So your child is not limited by "age" or "grade" to advance or explore academics in which they are interested or gifted
50. To teach your children to enjoy life
51. To allow your children to go to work with Mom or Dad when you all want--not just on the one "go to work with a parent holiday"
52. As many field trips as you want, to places that interest your child
53. To just take a day off when everyone feels like it
54. Flexibility to switch or experiment with different curriculum
Parents, if you are disgusted with public schools and want your children to have the great education they deserve, why not consider homeschooling? Millions of parents now homeschool their kids, and many of these parents are only high-school graduates.
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In the last three chapters of “Public Schools, Public Menace,” you’ll find many ways to homeschool your kids or use internet private schools, even if you work. Homeschooling can be a lot easier, and take a lot less time than you think. It can also bring you great joy in teaching your children.
© 2008 Joel Turtel - All Rights Reserved


P.S. I love my kid too much to put him through the public schools any longer, if I can POSSIBLY avoid it. Knowledge is power.


Saturday, March 16, 2013

Looking upward and onward...

I'm so thrilled when I see that there have been visitors to my little slice of blogging Heaven! Of course, it's amusing to note that the "thought police" that I've mentioned in the not-too-distant past are among the visitors, but I'm grateful that most of you are actually friends and family. (Did I mention that I do my best to not have secrets, now? The fact that there are those who would sneak around and look for dirt on others, just tells me a lot about how sick they still are.) And I wish you could see the grin on my face as I think of how paranoid I used to be, and how nice it is to NOT be that way, now.)
Anywho...It's Spring Break-ALREADY!!?- and that means that next week we're going to make the trek up to see the Big Guy's parents. They really are so much better than most. Coming from the relationship I've had with my own Mother, his Mom is really baffling. She's so NICE and warm and doesn't tell us what to do unless we ASK! Now, don't get me wrong, I know and completely believe that any parent who is bossy to their adult (-ish, ok?)children, are doing so out of concern and love for them. Motives do count, I guess. I'm aware-a LOT- of these characteristics, primarily because I seem to be in the life-season where we begin (? or continue?) to turn into our parents. Overall, I don't think that's a bad thing, but I see things that cause me to want to keep a distance from my Mother, and I need to take the necessary steps to be sure I DON'T do that to my boys. I'm not my Mom, I've had a different life-experience than she has, and I know we've both done the best we knew how, as parents. Isn't that all anyone can do?
God help me...The Serenity Prayer is such a great all-purpose prayer, isn't it?
Well, I've been looking forward to getting out of the house for a little today, and it's getting to be that time. I'm kinda psyched that our little country church has recently begun a Saturday night "Contemporary" service, and yeah, it feels like I really ought to support it. Any time I can spend some time with God and those who are SEEKING him, well, that's a good thing.

ttfn

Monday, February 18, 2013

Taking a kind of inventory

Hiya! I've been up since 7 am this morning, which is unusual for someone who loves sleep as much as I. Why? you may ask. Well, I woke up early this morning because we are going to go to the FARRRRR North side today, to see my eldest son on his 20th birthday. I woke up feeling like it was Christmas, because (I assume) it's been forever since I've seen him.
My Mom asked me to stop by her place on the way up, to get some things she wants him to have (food, primarily, I'm betting), so after Walmart & Mom's, we'll be on our way.

                                 WARNING: RANT AHEAD...WATCH FOR FALLING GRIPES!

My younger son is even more excited to see his brother than I am, if that's possible, and has been "Heytel"-ing with him this morning. (I guess it's like texting but you make short little recordings to send.) His voice sounds like he's either sick or sleep-deprived, which is how he rolls. It makes me sad to think of how much he's NOT taking care of  himself. I know this due to how he's looked and acted the last dew times I've seen him, and also b/c he had a short hospital stay a couple of months ago, likely because he exists on energy drinks, excessive amounts of violent video games, and very little sleep. Couple this with a congenital heart defect, and it really concerns me. (No, it's not like that. It's so far beyond the typical "hole in the heart" that I can't even explain it to you. Suffice it to say that the Dr.s literally used videos of his heart surgeries [open twice, closed once, so far] to teach at the Medical school attached to the Children's hospital. His Dr. was the HEAD of Pediatric Cardiology. I'm not sure why, but to this day it really irks me when anyone says "Oh, my ____ has heart problems too. It is a hole? Or a murmer?" I should probably talk to my counselor about it. I really want to yell NO HE HAS A REAL PROBLEM!!!! Not this mamby pamby everybody's-got-it crap!!
I'm not sure why that upsets me so much. Maybe it's the crisis junkie in me that wants to be appreciated for the EXTREME trauma we've lived through. More than once.

                                This concludes the rant. Please return to your regular reading.

Anyway, I get to see my child today! I love him with more love than I ever thought possible. Is it increased because of the precariousness of the early years? I don't know. I think I'd fight for both of my boys with equal voracity. For many years, it felt like "You and Me Against the World". I'm making a collage of pictures for him, from tiny to current, and looking through them brought up too many emotions. Really. I've been feeling a lot of regret and guilt lately, which I suspect are heightened-as all things negative-b/c of the lack of proper meds. However, they are what they are, and I know that there has always been a certain amount of these feelings, and I'm pretty sure there always will be. Damn that selective recall.
So, here's a REAL personal blog post for ya. I'm gonna grab some coffee I go hug the snot out of my eldest. I hope I don't cry too much but I really think that's asking way too much.
Happy President's Day-no, really, Happy Ben's Birthday!!!

Benjamin & Mommy, circa 1993







Monday, December 10, 2012

The Spirit of Christmas...


I was at the local thrift store recently, and the manager lady told me about a program through her church where they collect toys & things for children whose parents are in prison.  I'm in a continual search for ways to donate things I've been "collecting" for so long, so I went home and rounded up some jewelry for the teenaged girls on the list...considering that I only ever wear like 4 pairs of the many I own, it's really doing ME a favor...but this story reminded me of that. There are so many ways to GIVE, and the less common ones are usually my favorite.  How about you?


For the Tangles In Your Story

Tags:  Faith, Imperfection
As a young girl, a friend taught me to cross stitch. I loved seeing her beautiful creations and I quickly learned it takes a lot of little x’s to make a picture. I didn’t love the tedious sewing work, but I was eager to create something.  I would count the rows and put one X after another. My work wasn’t neat, my knots were bumpy and my stitches imperfect and when I turned my fabric over, the backside looked like a tangled mess.
Sort of like the story of my life.  
When I was in the 8th grade, I was in a peer program in my public school.  The peer program matched older students with younger ones. I was paired with a high risk 5th grader.
Her name was Tiffany. And she changed my life. Or at least the way I viewed my life.
I grew up in a sheltered home. I had loving parents and a great church.  My biggest concern was complexion outbreaks.
I’ll never forget the day I met Tiffany.  The school counselor introduced us.  I knew she came from a tough environment, but I don’t think I even knew what that meant. When she walked through the door, my first impression was, “this is what poor looks like.”  Her clothes were dirty and threadbare.  She wore a mismatched headband in her tangled hair.  She looked sad.  And so much older than she should. She also was tall for her age, and appeared to be just a size under me.
Our first meeting was awkward. The second time, we talked.  I will never forget what she told me. “My mom ran off last year. She left me with her ex-boyfriend. It’s just me and him and he’s mean to me.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I hugged her.
I still remember what I felt in that tiny room.  I wanted to help Tiffany.  I had never met a desperate child before.  It was the first time my heart broke for someone other than myself.
Through tears, I told my mom and sister Tiffany’s story at home that night.  They agreed that we had to do something.  My sister and I filled 3 huge bags with clothes and shoes.  I remember going through my costume jewelry and picking out some of my favorite things for her.
I had never given anyone something of mine before.  And it felt good. Handing my used things to a flabbergasted, grateful girl was a defining moment for me.  We both cried and hugged.  I saw the hope in her eyes.
I couldn’t wait to see her in new clothes.
But I never did.  The next time we were supposed to meet, she was gone. The counselor explained that her stepfather withdrew her from school.  No contact information. No forwarding address.  I tried to explain what she told me.  The counselor patted me on the shoulder and gave me the name of a new student to meet with.
I never heard another word about her, but I never forgot Tiffany.
My life went on much the same, but I was different.  I also struggled to make sense of why I couldn’t have helped Tiffany more.  Every time I thought of her, I said a quick prayer.
Five years later, I was a freshman in college 200 miles from home.  I had just landed a coveted job as a tutor for The Texas Baptist Home for Children.  It paid $12.00 an hour, a fortune for a new college student.
I got into the swing of tutoring these troubled kids after my classes.  The State of Texas had removed them from their homes for various reasons.  I mainly tutored elementary kids.
I came in one day, feeling down. I was dealing with the normal anxieties of young adult life. And I felt alone, away from home for the first time and questioning my purpose.
A new student had been assigned to me.  Her name was Tiffany.
It took a few minutes of us staring across the table at each other, getting acquainted.  And then we jumped up and hugged.
A hundred questions tumbled out of my mouth.  She filled in the years since we’d last seen each other.  The State had removed her two years before.  She was safe.  Happy.  And she still carried a piece of the jewelry I had given her.  There was hope in her eyes.
Our reunion was brief because Tiffany was permanently placed into a home.  A real home.
His eye in on the sparrow….He knew I would meet Tiffany again one day.  He had woven the tapestry of our lives together.
Thirty years later, the back of my tapestry still looks a little messy and tangled. I fret and question and worry myself into knots.
But I’m reminded He sees each of us and He is weaving a beautiful story with our lives. We don’t always understand the mess, the trials, the mundane, but He is there. Sometimes He is quiet like the gentle love of a friend, other times, He is loud, like the earthquake of an unexpected miracle.
He is always working in us and through us and in the end, it doesn’t matter how we get there, it’s that we get there.
If you are holding pieces today, or trying to unwind tangles in your life, offer it to Him. God fits the broken pieces together and is the ultimate recycler of our tangled story. For his glory.
Written by Kristen Welch, We are THAT family

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Bread Crumbs and Grace

“I’ve found that even during those times when the path is darkest, He leaves little bits of evidence all along the way- bread crumbs of grace- that can give me what I need to take the next step.” –Mary Beth Chapman