And...some more training...

Last week I went to training (again), and I've got another week in which I'll be taking the exam.
God willing and my brain cooperates, I'll be a Community Health Worker/Certified Recovery Specialist when the grading is complete.
I am hopeful that this will open up doors for me that have previously been inaccessible.

So, I PASSED!!
Abbie W, CHW/CRS, that's me.
😀

Coincidences?

Yesterday my youngest turned 14. It was a pretty good day, in that respect. I took us to lunch at our favorite China Buffet, we joked around and had a pretty good time. Big Guy & I got him a nifty t-shirt and the new Skillet cd, which went over WELL. :)
Then, after dropping him off at the other "parents'" home, I went on to work, a little later than usual.
We were watching Dr. Phil, talking to a young girl who was 7 months pregnant and tested positive for pot, coke, and heroin. She was in denial and so Phil showed her a video of what newborns go through when born to addicted mothers. They were going through withdrawal, and looked to be underweight, etc. The whole shebang. She was visibly shaken, as were the rest of us, viewing.
Shortly before that, on my way to work, I'd gotten a text from my older son telling me his heart pains were more intense and breathing was more difficult than usual. It's been increasingly harder for him to have any kind of normalcy in his daily life, for several months, now.
I told him to call and ask the nurse what he should do, and it was decided that he would go to the (IU) ER.
While I was watching the Dr. Phil show, it was ironic that this was the subject matter, on today, and this was going on with my baby.
I contacted my boss and was able to join my son in the ER after he'd been there for a couple of hours. I got to talk to him, but mostly I listened to him. He talked about how scared he is, but puts on a happy face, b/c "somebody's got to", and how he just wants to do normal things, that everyone else can do. He wants to be able to play soccer...but even if they give him a transplant, there's no guarantee that he'll be better afterward. (His "dad" is in the process of rejecting the liver he was given a year ago.)
I tried to be strong. I looked away, I talked about silly things with him. I tried not to give away how I was really feeling. I talked about the family dynamics with him...he talked about how he hates hospitals, and I said I feel the same...and I tried not to cry.
By the time I was about to leave, he'd been put into a room (overnight, thankfully, he got home-to Grandma's- this afternoon), and I was unable to get out without crying.
I wonder all the time whether he knows how much I love him. I am filled with regret when I think of the years of living in the subsidized apartments. Years of anger, despair, depression, and struggling just to maintain some small semblance of sanity.
I've thought many times of updating you all, but I've been, you know, busy working. That's the good news. Yesterday was just a bump in the road. God is good and He hears our prayers. I told B that there are a lot of people praying for him. He didn't reply, but that's ok.
I'm ok because I know Who's in charge.

I'd like to have more security. How about you?

"Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively, unless you can choose a challenge instead of a competence."
 -Eleanor Roosevelt

No longer FUNemployed!

Tomorrow I begin the 1st of 4 training shifts!
Did I tell you what I'm doing? In case I didn't,  my official position is Behavioral Health Tech. I'll be subbing, to begin, and it may turn into a full-time gig. :D
The place is a Transitional home for folks who had been living in the state psychiatric hospital. I can't tell you how happy I am for the opportunity to be an agent for POSITIVE change in these people's lives. I pray that I will be a blessing every time I am there.
Thanks for all of your prayers.
Now my sweet man & I will both be 1/2 time employees! ! :)
Oh, and the Home-schooling adventure will also be beginning directly...
Woohoo!! 

Is it Fall yet?!

Whew. It's literally sweltering here, if that's possible. By 8 am it was close to 90 degrees and it's only gotten hotter as the day's progressed. But enough about me. Let's talk about ME.

True!!

I got the job!! I think I might be done with all of the gastro-intestinal distress I'd been having since interviewing, but it's too soon to be sure. (The Big Guy teased me about it being morning sickness. SUCH a comedian!)
Yesterday morning I got to "Shadow" a lady at the Transitional Home where I'll be working. It was fun, and I loved it. It seems odd to say that about something called "WORK", but I surely did feel like I was finally home. The residents were all pretty well-behaved, and the staff was all friendly as well. I heard that Monday had been an exciting and active day, but -maybe because "Tom" took his night-time pill in the morning-yesterday it was all good.
One of the ladies "Lulu", we'll call her, has been in a hospitalized setting for her entire adult life, and yesterday she was working on her plan to move into a 1-bedroom apartment. This is HUGE for her. I'm anxious to get to know everyone, and just from a few hours there, I'm already sure it will be a great thing. We took everyone but Lulu to the library (she was going to the Dollar Store, I think), and stopped on the way back for a Polar Pop. What a treat! :) One of the gentlemen regailed me with tales-more factoids, really-of New York City, New York State, and the many places he'd worked and also some about the weather in New York-not City, but State. I guess I asked for it by responding to his naming the song title of the music playing in the van. :) Then there was "Bill", who was looking sharp in his overalls and a constant line of saliva flowing off his lower lip.
I'm excited about having a place to go and make a difference. Funny that this came (1) so soon after helping my friend to get his feet back under him, and (2) after I'd finally concluded that I am making a difference in those I live with. I guess my confidence in THAT arena has been shaken, so I hoped to find somewhere else I could be a blessing. I know that this job will help me to be a better parent, again, as I will be practicing the communication and behavioral skills at work that'll help a lot at home.
Speaking of home, my youngest goes to his "dad's" for one more week and then it's back to 2 days a week ONLY. THANK GOD. We truly spend half of each week over the summer, after the boy comes back home, trying to get him to let go of the things he learns by watching the person he's with, there.
Crazy can certainly be learned, and we're fighting an uphill battle, to help him unlearn it once he gets home.
So, if you're a praying person, please keep us in your prayers. God's got this, I know, but we can't have too much help.
Ta ta for now.
 

To everything there is a season...

Hi. How are ya? I'm good. Better, even! :)
A couple of weeks ago I got a text from a friend who's been kind of out of touch for a while. Shane is one of those people who, as soon as we got to know a little about one another, we just clicked. He's had a place in my heart, like a brother. Another thing about Shane, is that he's got D.I.D.
So, when I got the text from him that day, it was a surprise. I didn't know what he'd been up to of late, but the last time I saw him in February (or March?), he looked bad. and. was. miserable. I hated to leave him that day but I know that if a person doesn't want help...I just reassured him that he's not  bad person because of making some not-so-great choices, and that when he wanted help to let me know.
He texted me 2 weeks ago today, and the Big Guy and I met him at the closest E.R....they transferred him to a hospital that was able to provide him the DD (Dual Diagnosed) help he needed. After a week there, he was in much better shape and we thought there was a place for him to go for some extended treatment. Turns out they were not prepared to have him there, but thank God someone suggested a place not too far away that did have a place for Shane. Between times, we got to have Shane say with us for 5 days.
I love helping people who are ready to do what they need to, and he's one of those. It was even more cramped than usual in our tiny little apartment, to be sure. But as unexpected guests go, it was really nice having him camp out for a while. The little one (E) was thrilled to have someone to play video games with, and the Big Guy and I were just glad to have our friend clean and safe again. At the first place, Shane was able to get on the medications that help him to handle to complexities of being him.
Big Guy & I each enjoyed having another Believer to share our thoughts with, and Shane even got to go to church with us Wednesday. Our Pastor has been a great help in this process, and God has obviously been working all along the way.
We don't know what's going to happen when Shane is done at the place he's staying now, nor do we know how long he will get to stay. One thing I know is that God will keep up His end of the deal (Being God and loving us), and we'll keep seeking His face.
Life is full of surprises, that's for sure. Today I got a call from a local Behavioral Health place that I applied for probably a year ago, to interview on Thursday. And tomorrow I'm hoping to see one of my best friends ever, who I only get to see once or twice a year.
So...tomorrow's another day. God is good all the time.

(Here's some more info, from psychcentral.net)

Dissociative Identity Disorder Symptoms

By PSYCH CENTRAL STAFF

Also Known as Multiple Personality Disorder
The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self).
At least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person’s behavior.
Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.
The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during Alcohol Intoxication) or a general medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures). Note: In children, the symptoms are not attributable to imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.

• What is Dissociation? Do people really have multiple personalities?
• The Differences Between Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder
• General Treatment Guidelines for Multiple Personality Disorder
• Read more about Multiple Personality Disorder from Enpsychlopedia

One week later...

So, last week, my youngest finished 6th grade. The report card was GREAT!!
Now we begin homeschool.
As intimidating as that is, I'm convinced that it's the right thing for us. Some of the things he was "taught" in the local public school were SO incorrect, and that's not even talking about the section on religion I heard about. <BIG eye roll>
So, he goes to his Dad's for next week, and then we'll pick back up with h.s.-ing. I'm so relieved to have that year over with. I doubt that I'm the only parent, who, after hearing of the (Constant) shenanigans of certain teachers, thought "Does she not watch the news??" I could see easily why kids sometimes "go postal" in their schools.
GRATEFUL to have that chapter behind us. God willing, and the boy cooperates just a bit, we'll not be going back.

Now I'm going to go check on my little garden. : D