Greetings from The House.

I'm sucking on my second delicious coffee since about 9 pm, and I thought this would be an excellent time to jot down some thoughts. Since I AM still employed at The House, I will give you some observations about some of the people I get to work (for) with. I want to preface that, though, with this statement:
Whenever there is a group of people living under the same roof, eating meals together, and kinda doing life together, they will tend to become like a family. Whether it's been a group of college kids sharing rent, or an intentional community, it would seem to be the way things are. This is not a good thing nor a bad thing. Maybe it's better than it is worse, I don't know. But as I have been allowed to watch and learn from the folks here at The House, I can see that it is even more apparent that we need each other. Us. Humans. I'm glad, today, that God created us for relationships.

In order to protect the innocent (or not so innocent) I will use ficticious names, here, of course. None of the names are of the actual residents.

Every one who lives in this place has some kind of schizo-affective disorder, (among other things) which is to say at any given moment, there's probably someone hearing things that aren't there. Lots of paraniod delusions, too, so we often have to assure our people that we are NOT poisoning them. (No comments about when I get to help cook, please. And thank you.)

I guess I'll start with my favorites, which are easily Bill and Jane.

Bill is about 50, a soft-spoken gentleman who is often paranoid, and prefers to let the person who cuts his hair, shave him. He will get a pretty good scruff going before he decides to go get "gussied up"- I like to tease him. I asked him last time if he was going to get a mani-pedi, too? He grinned at me, and said no. His grins start at his eyes and eventually spread over his whole face. 
Bill has paranoid schizophrenia, so every time he is in a vehicle we have to reassure him that "Yes, we will get there and back safe and alive." He grips the door and the cupholders while traveling.
One way we try to help him with this is to distract him while we're driving. Talking about the song on the radio is one way. Another is, when we go past the local "PNC" bank, we think of things the "PNC" might stand for. Bill thought of "Pretty Nice Chicks" once, and grinned. He clarified "I mean you know, like girls, chicks like girls." Pretty cute.
The first thing you notice about Bill, though, is the drool. He constantly drools. It's a side-effect of some of his medications, Unfortunately, it could give the impression that he's not too bright, but Bill is a smart guy. He told me that he studied architecture befoer he got sick, and checked out several books on blueprints at the library. I believe that he did. He's a smart cookie, under the mental illness.

Jane is tied for first place with Bill. She is also living with schizophrenia, almong other things. Jane talks about her thoughts falling out of her head all over the floor. She won't do to church because, as she explains it "what if I was thought-broadcasting and my thoughts flew out and hit, a Bishop, or the Minister, or something?" Jand is a delight. She is almost always smiling, and in a good mood. She comes off with some really random things, and she loves to go to the Dollar Store and buy stuff.
Jane goes to the Senior Center nearby and likes to hang out there. From what I hear, they fix lunch for them and also do a lot of crafts. Jane is a very crafty lady. Jane is about 65, but she wears her hair in a cute bob cut, and her mother still tries to boss her around. I guess some things are universal.

There are 6 other rooms here, but currently only 5 other occupants. We should be getting a "move-in" next week, which is sure to be interesting.

I love my job. I love being able to help people, I love being able to show them that I care, and helping them find solutions for their problems, even if it's the same solution, day after day. I will confide something to you, dear reader, but don't tell anyone. I feel lots of times, that I could easily have ended up in a place like this, where others get to tell you what to do, all day, and every day. Where not everyone recognises that you are a human, adult, and treats you with the respect and consideration that you deserve. I'm grateful that I have been able to get to this point with as sound a mind as I have.

But sometimes, I feel like I'm undercover. I'm really much closer to the residents here than anyone else needs to know.  ;)

Before I dash off...

Hi. I'm so ready to be able to sit down and tell you all that's been going on. The drama, the angst, the grace, the bullsh*t....You know, life. But, alas, I'm on my way out the door after a 13-hour day. I'm not sure when we're gonna have the luxury of the internet back at the homestead. I'll try to sneak out to the library tomorrow so I can fill you in a bit.
1. Still employed. Learning a LOT about "Lateral Hostility". Wow. and from a "Christian".
2. The boy's "dad" is recovering (still) from his liver transplant. So far, so good.
3. Thanks to the recent decision to give the child medication for the AHDH, he's doing GREAT at school. I'm very proud.

Gotta run. Love and hugs~
Abs

Secret-DARPA-Mind-Control-Project-Revealed

Get the whole story HERE.
Secret DARPA Mind Control Project Revealed: Leaked Document Posted By Activist Post On July 29, 2013 @ 5:17 pm In Controlling the Herd,Editor's Choice,Videos and Media [1] What if the government could change people’s moral beliefs or stop political dissent through remote control of people’s brains? Sounds like science fiction, right? Well, a leaked document reveals that the US government, through DARPA research, is very close to accomplishing this. We were recently contacted by an anonymous whistleblower who worked on a secret ongoing mind-control project for DARPA. The aim of the program is to remotely disrupt political dissent and extremism by employing “Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation” (TMS) in tandem with sophisticated propaganda based on this technology. TMS stimulates the temporal lobe of the brain with electromagnetic fields. The program, conducted by The Center for Strategic Communication, is based at Arizona State University. The DARPA funding for this project can be confirmed on the ASU website here [2]. The head of the project, Steve Corman [3], has worked extensively in the area of strategic communication as it applies to terrorism and “extremism” – or what could be called “the war of ideas.” Corman’s latest project Narrating The Exit From Afghanistan and his many presentations [3] make it quite obvious that the mission is to shape the narrative and literally change people’s minds. Lest one believe it will be contained to overseas extremists, we should keep in mind that the word extremist is increasingly used domestically. The dissenters of yesterday could easily become the terrorist sympathizers andsupporters of political violence tomorrow. Clearly, this DARPA research brings about many ethical questions and dilemmas. Mainly, this research aims to literally induce or disrupt the operation of narratives within the brain. In other words, this research aims to stop individuals from thinking certain thoughts and make others believe things they normally would not believe. This research has tremendous interrogation possibilities and could potentially be used to more successfully spread propaganda or stop political upheaval to an unsuspecting public. This research is being conducted by The Center for Strategic Communication at ASU and is entitled “Toward Narrative Disruptors and Inductors: Mapping the Narrative Comprehension Network and its Persuasive Effects” [2] A detailed overview of the project can be found in the document below. (WHOOPS! "Somebody" removed that link before I could get it posted here for you. It's not terribly difficult to verify it all...) Highlights include: •In phase 3 of the research, the research group will “selectively alter aspects of narrative structure and brain functions via Transcranial Magnetic Simulation (TMS) to induce or disrupt selected features of narrative processing.” (Page 16, emphasis added) TMS is a very powerful tool used to impair the brain functioning of individuals. See the videos below for a brief demonstration of the effects of TMS. •Once the research group determines which parts of the brain are associated with cognitive reasoning and narrative comprehension, they will be attempt to impair those sections in order to “create a fundamental basis for understanding how to disrupt or enhance aspects of narrative structure and/or brain functioning to minimize or maximize persuasive effects on subject proclivity to engage in political violence.” (Page 23) •Once it is determined that disruption of certain portions of the brain can enhance persuasive messaging, individuals can be persuaded to do things they normally would not do and believe things they normally would not believe. This could include something as simple as telling a closely guarded secret, to believing in government propaganda, or even committing a violent act. The group writes on page 26, “once we have produced a narrative comprehension model [i.e., how individuals comprehend stories and persuasive messages], end users [aka the government] will understand how to activate known neural networks (e.g., working memory or attention) and positive behavioral outcome (e.g., nonviolent actions) nodes with strategic communication messages as a means to reduce incidences of political violence in contested populations.” The group will investigate “possibilities for literally disrupting the activity of the NCN [narrative comprehension network] through Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation.” (page 30) [text added] •The group is so confident that they will be able to induce or disrupt the operations of narratives in the brain, that they say on page 26 that the research “offers the capability to induce or disrupt the operation of narratives in the brain, and develops the capability to induce narrative validity [i.e., the believability of a particular narrative/message], transportation [i.e., the ability to be engaged by a narrative], and integration [i.e., associating a particular narrative with a larger, more culturally specific narrative] with certainty.” [text added] •The group gives the following example of this projects usefulness: “If it is the case that activation in one particular neural network enables people to connect personal narrative to master narratives [i.e., cultural narratives], by disrupting activity in that brain area, we should be able to selectively impair that specific aspect of narrative processing while holding other meaning making processes constant, effectively creating a ‘narrative disruptor.’ Not only would this be an important finding in the science of neural networks and narrative persuasion, but would also have considerably practical and strategic importance.” (page 40) [text added] Essentially, the research aims to literally disrupt how people think and comprehend ideas and messages. •Further, and perhaps even more terrifying, on page 40, the group writes, “Mechanical disruptions of narrative processing may be, ultimately, replicated in through targeted strategic communication campaigns that approximate the narrative disruptions induced via magnetic stimulation.” So, after figuring out which parts of the brain are activated by particular persuasive messages and propaganda, the government can test out messages that only activate particular portions of the brain and not others, in order to persuade individuals to believe or not believe something. Essentially, they are attempting to modify brain functioning without TMS, and only words. One can only imagine the strategies the government could use with this technology. They could make the public believe almost anything that suits their needs. It could literally lead to mass brainwashing. But what does this mean, practically? It means that if this research succeeds, the government will be able to modify how one personally thinks. They could strap you in a chair, put a machine to your head, turn off parts of your brain, introduce a persuasive message, and make you believe it. Further, through extensive research, they may be able to replicate the machine’s brain disrupting functioning simply through carefully crafted and researched persuasive messages and propaganda. They can use brain imaging to determine which portions of the brain are activated when a particular message is presented to an individual, and if the “right” portions are activated, they know the message will circumvent one’s mental reasoning and lead to almost automatic acceptance. With enough data, the government could spread propaganda through the media that people will almost automatically believe, whether it is true or not. In terms of interrogation possibilities, Transcranical Magnetic Stimulation can be forced upon individuals to make them believe certain things, say certain things, and perhaps admit to acts they did not actually commit (as the TMS can induce narrative validity), or commit acts they normally would not commit. The government is literally trying to brainwash the public. This is not science fiction. Technology has made it possible to induce and disrupt cognitive functioning in individuals. In the future, your thoughts may not be your own, but ones that have been implanted into your brain through exceedingly successful and validated propaganda. Meeting notes indicate concern about how the project will be perceived, particularly the focus on the Christian/Muslim element. We encourage you to embed these documents on your own website or blog and share them with everyone you know. Page numbers listed above are based on Scribd conversion below; enter the page number you wish to view in the Scribd search box. Toward Narrative Disruptors and Inductors: Mapping the Narrative…. [4] Center For Strategic Studies Meeting Notes 3-10-12 [5] __________________________________________________ Additional information In 2002 The Economist [6] noted that neuroscience would be the future of mind control. Well, now we’re evidently here. This area of study has received $100 million in funding via Obama’s ten-year BRAIN Project [7], as well as a $1.3 billion commitment from Europe [8]. The human brain is seen as the final frontier, and is being explored from every angle conceivable. The above investments are openly discussed. The same is true for the National Nanotechnology Initiative 2011 Strategic Plan [9]. This 60-page document lays out a projected future “to understand and control matter” for the management of every facet of human life in the areas of environment, health and safety. Twenty-five U.S. Federal agencies are participating. Concurrently, there is heavy military funding through agencies such as the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). This raises the question of transparency when a “black budget” often justifies total secrecy in the name of national security. Advancements in neuroscience are coming at an exponential rate, as each day seems to headline a new breakthrough. For example, it recently has been announced that: •The ‘Google Earth’ of 3D Brain Maps is Here [10] •“Neural Dust” [11] is being researched, which could enable remote spying on the human brain. •A new microchip can mimic the brain [12] and imitate the brain’s information processing in real time. These are mainstream announcements and can no longer be dismissed as conspiracy theory. For now, there appears to be a lot of parsing of words within the ASU project to stress that this is about “persuasion” not “influence” which can be seen in the meeting notes. It’s also repeatedly mentioned that there is not a desire to organically change the brain itself, but to focus on the story being told and how to properly disseminate information — propaganda, in other words. Finally, there is the troubling note about focusing on the Christian/Muslim narrative as exemplary of the extremism which needs to be reprogrammed. Given what we know about the other military research into direct mind control, any benign assertions of this project at ASU must be called into question. The fact that members of this group were divided into teams red and blue to construct arguments for and against if word were to get out to “activists” and the public is additionally troubling. If we combine all of this information with other releases about The Pentagon’s work with “narrative networks,” reported on by the BBC [13], it becomes clear that now is the time to discuss ethics, as no one in the scientific and military communities seems eager to bring possible attacks on our free will to the forefront. Will you take the red pill or the blue pill? We would love to hear your thoughts about what has been revealed. Activist Post would also like to call on all experts in this field of research and/or other whistleblowers to come forward and bring out into the open what is being covered up. This technology could affect us all. NOTE: An e-mail sent to the program director at ASU requesting comments on this research did not receive a response. Other important research links: “The God Helmet.” [14]: The effects of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation were directly observed by a Wired magazine reporter. http://calhoun.nps.edu/public/bitstream/handle/…. [15] http://futureofstorytelling.org/ [16] http://www.nsiteam.com/pubs/U_Neurobiology%20of…. [17] http://narrative.csail.mit.edu/ws12/proceedings.pdf [18] http://www.militaryaerospace.com/articles/2012/05/…. [19] http://groups.csail.mit.edu/genesis/papers/Finlayson%202011.pdf [20] DD: Narrative Science Creates Automated News Stories http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWU7WFhZFS4 Delivered by The Daily Sheeple [21] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Contributed by Activist Post of Activist Post [22]. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article copied from The Daily Sheeple: http://www.thedailysheeple.com URL to article: http://www.thedailysheeple.com/secret-darpa-mind-control-project-revealed-leaked-document_072013 URLs in this post: [1] Image: http://www.thedailysheeple.com/secret-darpa-mind-control-project-revealed-leaked-document_072013/brain [2] ASU website here: http://csc.asu.edu/projects/ [3] Steve Corman: https://webapp4.asu.edu/directory/person/25690 [4] Toward Narrative Disruptors and Inductors: Mapping the Narrative…. : http://www.scribd.com/doc/156562352/Toward-Narrative-Disruptors-and-Inductors-Mapping-the-Narrative-Comprehension-Network-and-its-Persuasive-Effects [5] Center For Strategic Studies Meeting Notes 3-10-12: http://www.scribd.com/doc/156566740/Center-For-Strategic-Studies-Meeting-Notes-3-10-12?secret_password=1ds5eqtdmkdicodzw2c3 [6] The Economist: http://www.economist.com/node/1143583 [7] BRAIN Project: http://www.activistpost.com/2012/02/elite-think-tanks-neuroscience-and.html [8] $1.3 billion commitment from Europe: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2013/05/neurologist-markam-human-brain/all/ [9] National Nanotechnology Initiative 2011 Strategic Plan: http://www.nano.gov/nnistrategicplan211.pdf [10] The ‘Google Earth’ of 3D Brain Maps is Here: http://m.theatlanticwire.com/technology/2013/06/google-earth-3d-brain-maps-here/66465/ [11] “Neural Dust”: http://www.technologyreview.com/view/517091/how-smart-dust-could-spy-on-your-brain/ [12] A new microchip can mimic the brain: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130722152705.htm [13] reported on by the BBC: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20120501-building-the-like-me-weapon [14] “The God Helmet.”: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/7.11/persinger.html [15] http://calhoun.nps.edu/public/bitstream/handle/….: http://calhoun.nps.edu/public/bitstream/handle/10945/13759/Deterring_Violent_Non-State_Actors.pdf?sequence=1 [16] http://futureofstorytelling.org/: http://futureofstorytelling.org/ [17] http://www.nsiteam.com/pubs/U_Neurobiology%20of….: http://www.nsiteam.com/pubs/U_Neurobiology%20of%20Political%20Violence%20-%20Dec10%20Final%20Approved%20for%20Release%205.31.11.pdf [18] http://narrative.csail.mit.edu/ws12/proceedings.pdf: http://narrative.csail.mit.edu/ws12/proceedings.pdf [19] http://www.militaryaerospace.com/articles/2012/05/….: http://www.militaryaerospace.com/articles/2012/05/darpa-launches-deft-program-to-pull-actionable-intelligence-out-of-ambiguously-worded-text.html [20] http://groups.csail.mit.edu/genesis/papers/Finlayson%202011.pdf: http://groups.csail.mit.edu/genesis/papers/Finlayson%202011.pdf [21] The Daily Sheeple: http://www.TheDailySheeple.com/ [22] Activist Post: http://www.activistpost.com

It's a mad mad mad mad world. And the inmates are running the asylum. *NEWS FLASH*

Don't watch this if you'd rather be surprised...

It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world....

Troops Ordered To Kill All Americans Who Do Not Turn In Guns
Watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyfkQkchlu4 Published on Jul 16, 2012
Please spread the Word.

The UN Arms Trade Treaty that has been identified by observers as a flagrant threat to the second amendment and which Barack Obama is determined to sign has its roots in a 1961 State Department memorandum which explains how the United Nations will oversee "complete disarmament" of the American people under the ruse of preventing war.
The UN Arms Treaty has caused so much controversy because it outlines a plan to target "all types of conventional weapons, notably including small arms and light weapons," according to Forbes' Larry Bell. Former US Ambassador to the UN John Bolton also warns that the agreement "is trying to act as though this is really just a treaty about international arms trade between nation states, but there is no doubt that the real agenda here is domestic firearms control." A letter sent last month by 130 Republican House members to President Obama argued that the treaty should be rejected because it infringes on the "fundamental, individual right to keep and bear arms". The letter adds that "...the U.N.'s actions to date indicate that the ATT is likely to pose significant threats to our national security, foreign policy, and economic interests as well as our constitutional rights."
Using the rhetoric of the threat post by terrorists, insurgents and "international crime syndicates," the UN is busy trying to imply that all weapons are somehow involved in illegal activity on a global scale and should therefore be controlled and regulated by a global authority. This is precisely the same language used in a 1961 U.S. State Department briefing which outlined a long term agenda to carry out a "Program for General and Complete Disarmament in a Peaceful World."
Invoking the threat of nuclear warfare, the document spells out a plan to create a "United Nations Peace Force" that would "enforce the peace as the disarmament process proceeds." While the document initially focuses on scrapping nuclear weapons, it later makes it clear that the only groups allowed to own weapons of any kind would be governing authorities, "for the purpose of maintaining internal order," and the UN "peacekeeping" force itself, which would require "agreed manpower." "The manufacture of armaments would be prohibited except for those of agreed types and quantities to be used by the U.N. Peace Force and those required to maintain internal order. All other armaments would be destroyed or converted to peaceful purposes," states the document.
While the memorandum outlines a broader mandate to destroy national sovereignty, eviscerate national armies and institute the UN as the planet's supreme authority with a world army, the document serves as a stark reminder that the plan for the United Nations to oversee the abolition of the second amendment has been in the works for decades.
As Bell points out in his Forbes article, the threat of the Obama administration relying on a UN treaty to do what successive administrations have tried but failed to accomplish -- taking a huge bite out of the second amendment -- is by no means far fetched. After all, a plethora of UN treaties and international agreements have already stripped the United States of its sovereignty and its power to decide its own laws.
The power to authorize U.S. involvement in wars and conflicts has now been almost completely stripped from Congress and handed to the United Nations.·

Is it Fall yet?!

Whew. It's literally sweltering here, if that's possible. By 8 am it was close to 90 degrees and it's only gotten hotter as the day's progressed. But enough about me. Let's talk about ME.

True!!

I got the job!! I think I might be done with all of the gastro-intestinal distress I'd been having since interviewing, but it's too soon to be sure. (The Big Guy teased me about it being morning sickness. SUCH a comedian!)
Yesterday morning I got to "Shadow" a lady at the Transitional Home where I'll be working. It was fun, and I loved it. It seems odd to say that about something called "WORK", but I surely did feel like I was finally home. The residents were all pretty well-behaved, and the staff was all friendly as well. I heard that Monday had been an exciting and active day, but -maybe because "Tom" took his night-time pill in the morning-yesterday it was all good.
One of the ladies "Lulu", we'll call her, has been in a hospitalized setting for her entire adult life, and yesterday she was working on her plan to move into a 1-bedroom apartment. This is HUGE for her. I'm anxious to get to know everyone, and just from a few hours there, I'm already sure it will be a great thing. We took everyone but Lulu to the library (she was going to the Dollar Store, I think), and stopped on the way back for a Polar Pop. What a treat! :) One of the gentlemen regailed me with tales-more factoids, really-of New York City, New York State, and the many places he'd worked and also some about the weather in New York-not City, but State. I guess I asked for it by responding to his naming the song title of the music playing in the van. :) Then there was "Bill", who was looking sharp in his overalls and a constant line of saliva flowing off his lower lip.
I'm excited about having a place to go and make a difference. Funny that this came (1) so soon after helping my friend to get his feet back under him, and (2) after I'd finally concluded that I am making a difference in those I live with. I guess my confidence in THAT arena has been shaken, so I hoped to find somewhere else I could be a blessing. I know that this job will help me to be a better parent, again, as I will be practicing the communication and behavioral skills at work that'll help a lot at home.
Speaking of home, my youngest goes to his "dad's" for one more week and then it's back to 2 days a week ONLY. THANK GOD. We truly spend half of each week over the summer, after the boy comes back home, trying to get him to let go of the things he learns by watching the person he's with, there.
Crazy can certainly be learned, and we're fighting an uphill battle, to help him unlearn it once he gets home.
So, if you're a praying person, please keep us in your prayers. God's got this, I know, but we can't have too much help.
Ta ta for now.
 

The Boys Next Door - Norman And Sheila's Date

Here's a peek at the second movie I saw, recently. I almost lose my hope in ever finding movies that I'll feel-deeply-better after seeing. Then, I go and pick out a couple by myself, and praise God I hit pay-dirt TWICE.
This one is lighter than the other, overall, but also has it's moments that are hard to watch. The cast is GREAT and you will laugh until you cry. And you might just cry, too. Here's a clip, but you really oughta see the movie. This is only a tiny bit of it's goodness.

Taking a break

Sometimes, I indulge myself in a couple hours of mental vacation. More than usual. I'm not often one to sit through a movie, but this may have to do with the usual movies that the GUYS bring home.
Last week *I* brought home a couple. Sigh. It was pretty nice. The Big Guy watched the first with me, and the Boy watched the second. They were both really good, about the Human Condition, relationships, responsibilities, and Human Services-type stuff. I think you'd probably like them, too.

Here's the first. "Get Low", starring Bobby Duval, Bill Murray, and Sissy Spacek.

I encourage you to see it. It's not too heavy and not too light. Kinda REAL. Like life.

A little something to think about.

Lee Grady: No More Spineless Christianity
http://www.ministrytodaymag.com/index.php/ministry-leadership/preaching/20128-lee-grady-no-more-spineless-christianity


The truth will set you free. First, though, it will probably piss you off.

Slooowwww Moooo...

Lately, I’ve been in slow-mo, as far as my blogs, especially. I think of them often, but haven’t made time for tending, much.

In 2 days, I get to (finally) go have some tests run to see (I guess) if there are any indications of permanent damage or possibly additional strokes in my future. Yeah, it’s kind of surreal to think of, but a little over a month ago, on March 20th, I had a stroke. A small one, to be sure, but nonetheless, the Dr. who knows these things, said that’s what it was. 

(Sorry if I've already told you this part.)

I woke up at about 3:30 and noticed that I was slobbering in my sleep. I wiped my mouth & laid on my other side & dozed off again…When I woke up a few minutes later, I realized that “apparently” my left arm was asleep, in addition to the left side of my mouth feeling like I’d had dental work done: numb, slobbery, and droopy. I thought “the Big Guy must’ve accidentally smacked me while we were sleeping?” No, it’s never happened before, but THAT had also never happened, so go figure. 

After checking it out in the bathroom mirror, I determined that this was something that would require waking up the Hubster, and possibly a trip to the E.R. 

This is probably as good a time as any to mention that, like more Americans than you might think, we have no insurance. This does make me think long and hard about any medical needs, as I am loathe to rack up bills that there’s little to no chance that will get paid. Hand-to-mouth doesn’t really leave much for other expenditures. 

Anyway, there is a free Medical clinic nearby and thank God they’re going to help us. Friday I’ll be spending the majority of the day being tested. MRI, EKG, Dopplar-something, and one more. The Dr. said that taking Omega-3 supplements is a GOOD thing.

After a little more than a month, I am grateful to tell you that my symptoms have just about 98% gone away. The mouth was better by the time we left the E.R. that morning, and I’ve been working with the fingers (Yeah, I’m left-handed, of course! lol) of my left hand and all but the last 2 are back to good. If I’m slow and very careful, I can write my name again, but typing is a slllooooowwwwww affair. That’s why I’ve been silent on my blogs, for the most part.

The other part of the recovery process is the mental and emotional part. I almost didn’t mention that, but in all honesty, it’s been as much of a struggle as the physical. I looked up everything I could find on strokes, right away, and there are definite things that happen as a result of having had a stroke. Depression was noticeably increased, and there is a lingering feeling of confusion…if you’ve ever watched Boston Legal, you’ll get this: word salad. A. Lot. <sigh.> But it’s getting better. 

I’m grateful that I’ve been walking with my God for long enough to know that He’s got this. Yes, it was scary, and I’m not at ALL interested in having it happen again, but I’ve had the peace that passes understanding through it all. 

My church family have prayed for me/us, and I’ve been stretching and working the muscles on my left hand & arm, as much as I know how to…In another couple of months, there will be no sign of it ever having  happened. 

Good thing, cos I’ve got LOTSA stuff to do, yet. 

So, what’s new with you? 

I don't really have a standard to compare my mental status with, now do I?

Hiya, gang! I'm checking in to let you know that I've NOT forgotten you! No, not even a little bit! The nice dr. that I saw a couple of days ago tells me that on the 20th of last month (March, if you're keeping track), I had a kind of a stroke. "TIA" I think is what they call it. ("TAI"?) What this means to you, dear reader, is that I've not been able to get enough function back in my left hand (YET) to be able to justify the time it takes to type a little. After 3 weeks, though, other than typing, I've gotten most of the use of it back. If I'm verrrry careful and go verry slowly, I can even write again. (VERRRRY) It took about a week to be able to wash my own hair, about 2 weeks to tie my shoes, and now it's all pretty good except for the fine motor stuff. Doc says it's good that I've begun taking fish oil (for Brain repair), and, being me, I'm thinking I probly shoulda been gulping those suckers down a LONG time ago. lol
Anyway, I did the speech-to-text tutorial this morning on the laptop, and I'm hoping to be able to start blogging again on a semi-regular basis, soon.
I have a whole new understanding of why old people are SO FREAKIN' SLOW!! Jeez. I guess I was due for another couple of  lessons in patience & acceptance.
So, that's the latest. As usual, my Big Guy has been my rock and a big helper ;) through out. (Only lost a FEW chunks of hair when he helped me wash it! lol) I'm pretty sure I'm not a great patient, and I appreciate him more every day.
Oh, and it's worth mentioning that the good Dr. said I need to quit the b.c. pills now, and start taking aspirin on a regular basis. Not so sure the un-hormonally-balanced me is gonna be very good for ANY of us, but....we'll see. I'm taking orders from my superiors, today.
Here's a thought for you, just in case you're curious about how things are, in a little more detail, in Wonderland: The next time you're in the bathroom, try wiping with your OTHER hand. Not feeling that brave? Ok, then just brush your teeth with the "wrong" hand. Yeah, fun, huh? So, it's been a challenge, but nothing God's not been right beside me, for the whole ordeal. THANK God for a sense of humor. : D
Love and clumsy hugs

You may be right. I may be crazy. But...bite me.

I found this recently, and I knew I'D want to read it again at some point. 

 I thought you  might want to, too. 

54 UNIQUE BENEFITS OF HOMESCHOOLING

By Joel Turtel

April 22, 2008

www.NewsWithViews.com

Parents, is homeschooling the right choice for you and your children? Maybe you think you don’t have the time to homeschool because you work. Perhaps you don’t have confidence in your ability to teach your kids because you never took “teaching” courses.

But consider the alternative. Public schools can destroy your children’s self-esteem, destroy their ability to read, strangle their love of learning, put them in physical and moral danger, and wreck their future.

In contrast, here’s 54 unique benefits homeschooling can give you and your kids, as written and explained by Laura B., a smart, wonderful wife, mother of three, homeschooler, and business owner who works from home and still focuses on her family!

Homeschooling (or low-cost internet private schools), can have the following extraordinary benefits for you and your children:

1. Be with Your Family
2. Set Your Own Schedule
3. Vacation When You Want
4. Choose curriculum that best suits the needs of your child
5. Be totally aware of the state and progress of your child's education
6. Keep your child away from un-necessary peer pressure
7. Keep your child away from the bad influence of other children
8. Love, nurture, and teach your child the character and morals you value most
9. Make learning fun
10. Make learning as "experiential" as you want
11. Don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to get your child dressed and fed and off to school where their so tired they don't learn well anyway.
12. Break up the day however you want to fit your child's learning attention span
13. Teach your child without any "assumed limitations". Teach multiple languages, develop one skill or subject--the sky's the limit
14. What you teach an older child naturally filters down to the younger child(ren) making learning must easier and faster for siblings
15. Teach at the pace and developmental stage appropriate for your child
16. Avoid educational "labeling"
17. Keep you child as far away from drugs as possible
18. Never have to worry about bomb scares or mass shootings
19. Allow your child to do think, discuss, and explore in ways not possible in a classroom setting
20. Constant positive reinforcement and gentle correction. No abusive words or actions that scar your child's psyche
21. Don't use the school system as a babysitter. You only need a few hours for learning--the rest of the day is filled with unnecessary "busy work"
22. Develop life skills such as cooking, cleaning, and organizing that are easily learned with the additional time spent at home
23. Spend as much time outdoors as you want to enjoy nature and the world around us
24. Teach the value of responsibility by providing daily jobs
25. To make money management as natural as breathing by allowing even small children to do tasks, earn money, save it, and spend it in an appropriate manner.
26. Never have your child beat up by a bully. Teach self-defense skills that will enable him to deal with any situation but not until he is mature enough to handle the emotional aspects of confrontation
27. No pressure or set "expectations" from teachers on a younger sibling that follows an older sibling in the same school
28. Be around when your child needs to talk
29. Take a break when your child needs a break
30. Bond as a family through family group activities
31. Pass on your religious beliefs and morals to your children and stay away from the "indoctrination" of other school systems
32. Teach sex education when you and how you want
33. Develop your child's imagination and teach diverse problem solving skills instead of one institutionalized method of thinking
34. Unlimited possibilities for extra curricular activities that interest your child having to live up to the expectations or skills of others.
35. Develop the individualism of your child
36. Avoid traditional school "group activities" that may leave one student doing all the work or ruining it for everyone else.
37. Never have your child feel the failure, embarrassment, or teasing from "failing" a grade
38. To keep your children out of the care, custody, and control or people you don't know and who naturally teach their philosophy of life whether they realize it or not
39. No opportunity for your child to "sluff off", "snow-blow", or "just get by" with academics
40. To have your child learn initiative naturally as there's no peer pressure or fear of embarrassing himself
41. Allow your child to have input and say in subject matter and style
42. Allow your child to focus on growth and development--not following the latest fad or being in a certain group
43. So your child will only be surrounded by people who love him, encourage him, and want the best for him.
44. Make sure your child doesn't end up graduating without knowing how to read or knowing other basic skills due to educational failings of your local schools.
45. Keep your child out of private schools that have peer pressure, teacher criticism, drugs, sex, and alcohol that your child never needs to be around
46. Avoid grading scales and testing that gives no positive benefit to your child
47. Not to give the state or federal government control of your child that they assume is theirs
48. To easily pass on your unique heritage or language to your child
49. So your child is not limited by "age" or "grade" to advance or explore academics in which they are interested or gifted
50. To teach your children to enjoy life
51. To allow your children to go to work with Mom or Dad when you all want--not just on the one "go to work with a parent holiday"
52. As many field trips as you want, to places that interest your child
53. To just take a day off when everyone feels like it
54. Flexibility to switch or experiment with different curriculum

Parents, if you are disgusted with public schools and want your children to have the great education they deserve, why not consider homeschooling? Millions of parents now homeschool their kids, and many of these parents are only high-school graduates.

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In the last three chapters of “Public Schools, Public Menace,” you’ll find many ways to homeschool your kids or use internet private schools, even if you work. Homeschooling can be a lot easier, and take a lot less time than you think. It can also bring you great joy in teaching your children.

© 2008 Joel Turtel - All Rights Reserved


P.S. I love my kid too much to put him through the public schools any longer, if I can POSSIBLY avoid it. Knowledge is power.

Clean and crazy...making amends

Recently I was over at my Mom's, cutting the eldest boys' hair. He decided to take this semester off of school, and so he's moved back in with her. Hopefully this will work out well for everyone.
So, in the process of hair-cutting, we got to talking about the band that he had playing in the other room, and he reminded me of an incident we had a few years back, where I destroyed a bunch of his cds. I had no recollection of this incident, as well as another involving some reading material of his, in which I threw a bunch of books away as well. I had NO memory of these things. That really bothered me.
I guess I'd had black-out rages before, but primarily they were limited to alcoholic blackouts. (It seems appropriate to mention now that my children have never seen me under the influence of anything mind-altering.) That being the case, it hurt me SO MUCH to think of how I railed and ranted against/on him. The only thing I remember from around that period, as far as my insanity/acting out, is a time when I had my boy pinned in a corner with my body, daring him to hit me, and using everything in me not to hit him. To his credit, he was never abusive to me. It was soon after that (those, I guess) incident that he went to live with my Mom.

Hearing about my behavior back then, even Clean and Sober, really shook me to the core. All I could think to say at the time he was telling me (Not to be hurtful, just saying what he remembered), was "I was really under a lot of stress then." And it was continual, and constant, for the 6 or 7 years we lived in "Crack Cental". The spirit of oppression in those apartments was really almost tangible. I guess that will have to go down in my life as one of the lowest points. I don't know if I was on medication at that time or not, but I guess that would be a reason for the extent of the outbursts, if I was not.
So, after I finished the haircut, I went home and cried and cried and cried. I sent my son a text saying that I did not remember those things and that I am SO very sorry for behaving that way. Of course he said "it's fine", but it's NOT. Knowing how his "dad" has emotionally abused him, and how the depression had kicked his butt (as a result of dad's bullying, I suspect), I KNEW that he didn't need an abusive, insane Mom. I told him that now I know why there's been such a separation between he & I, and that he was protecting himself from me, and I said that he was smart for that. A friend said that it could have been worse, etc., trying to comfort me, I guess, but I don't receive that. "At least I didn't" is a typical cop-out for people who aren't really trying to move forward. I mean, I know it's true, that it could have been MUCH worse, but that really doesn't make me feel any better. Wow.
I hope there won't be too many more revelations like this, but in the spirit of opening communication and working toward a mother-son relationship again, I'll ask, and he'll have opportunities to tell me what I did.
The feeling that comes back to me about those times, is that I was being JUST like my DAD. I have PTSD that was begun as a little child, as a result of my Dad's "parenting". My God, is that what I had become?
I knew that when we moved into that place, it was either there or a shelter, and it was the lesser of the two evils. I guess it was a rock & a hard place, but I couldn't have known the toll it would take on us.
I've had big regrets, from what I DID remember, but now I'll have more work to do. To find a way to stop hating myself, to forgive myself...to re-build a loving relationship with my now 20-year-old son. Guess I'd better get some step-work done.
Days like these send me running to the Mercy Seat.

He loves the Unlovable


 

So, how's your week been?

Time for some honesty about unemployment and mental illness

This is from across the pond, but really, is it any different from your community?  I think "well, it's hard for everyone to find work", then I'm plagued by my own self-assessment: is it maybe just my perspective? Is there something I'm doing or saying that prevents me from being a candidate for work?

AM I JUST DEFECTIVE?

29 January 2013 | 10:00 AM

Jane Harris

As anyone who watched last night's Panorama will know, the current work programme is, ironically, not working for people  with mental illness. Neither did the Pathways to work programme that preceded it. Nor the New Deal for Disabled People that came before that.

Why? Because none of these programmes were honest about unemployment and mental illness. The reality is that it's a classic ''wicked problem'', with many different causes. We need to address all the causes to really solve it.

People do need individual support, training and career advice. Many mental health conditions like schizophrenia and bipolar start in people's early teens. It's not easy to fully engage in education if you're dealing with a mental health problem. So some extra training and vocational support later in life can really help.

But supporting individuals and providing training won't solve the problem on its own. People also need enough healthcare to treat both the symptoms and the causes of mental health problems. And that's just not happening - last year, the independent Schizophrenia Commission found that only a minority of people get all the treatments recommended by the health watchdog NICE.
If you left someone with diabetes without medication or dialysis, you wouldn't expect them to be able to work. But we are failing to provide both decent medication and cost-effective psychological therapies to people with mental illness and then asking them to go out and look for jobs.
Even if miraculously someone gets healthcare and appropriate vocational support, there is still the issue of employers' attitudes. It is a huge step forward that people no longer have to declare  mental health conditions on application forms, thanks to years of campaigning by Rethink Mental Illness members and staff.
But that doesn't mean that all employers understand what reasonable adjustments are in the workplace. How many employers would accept that someone needs to come in late everyday because anti-psychotics are making them drowsy in the morning? How many would let someone leave  early once a week for a CBT session?
That doesn't mean we should give up. Finding something meaningful to do with your life, paid or unpaid, is an important part of recovery. It's too important a problem for us to walk away. Sadly, as the MP Anne Begg said in last night's programme, the longer people are left without the help they need, the less likely they are to find that meaningful occupation we all deserve.
We need action on all fronts - now.
Do you want to add your voice to our campaigning? Join us today.

Check out www.bringchange2mind.org and www.nami.org for more info, closer to home.