(Borrowed from www.shirleymcclay.com @ Sunny Glade)
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
I'm just this side of exhausted, but I just finished another cup of coffee a minute ago, so I'm hanging in there.
I thought that I would tell you about another of the residents, here.
There is an older gentleman who lives here named "Mick". Mick is a serious person and very intense. He never jokes (just ask him and he'll tell you, loudly). Mick also is narcissistic as all get out. EVERYTHING is about him. I guess we are all SO incredibly interested in all things Mick that he graciously fills us in on Mick trivia throughout the day: "I am not a criminal" "I have never been on a matress with a male or a female!" "I never finished school, I only got to the 9th grade" "In one year I had 24 different jobs." And it's not in a conversational tone, like, say "Rainman". It's BELLOWED across any great (or small, really) span that has any living person on the other side of it. Mick really just seems to enjoy the sound of his own voice more than anyone I can think of.
When his staff person takes him out to the store to do his personal shopping, even though the staff person is clearly nowhere near as old as Mick, or in any other way related to him, Mick often finds it necessary to yell across the store "You are not my wife!"
Last week, while on the way home, the staff person was going 40-ish on a 35 mile an hour road and Mick called the police and reported that she was trying to kill him. Reckless endangerment!
Mick has something wrong with one of his eyes, so that it's kind of looking slightly away fromthe other one. An accident, I think, caused this. Anyway, to hear him tell it, THE EYE (often it is pointed at and addressed as if it were a seperate entity-heck, maybe it is) is the reason for most of the things that happen to Mick. Note that it's not a matter of consequences of his own actions. No, no, no. Mick is absolutely a victim here. His brother, who is the legal guardian of Mick's affairs (I can just hear him now VEHEMENTLY denying EVER having had "ANY kind of affair with a man or a woman"), also supposedly abuses Mick. I'm not exactly sure how this abuse happens, but Mick is one who never forgets an imagined slight. Mick is clearly disturbed. At the moment, in fact, he is a temporary resident at the local "Stress Unit". (IE Psych Ward) It's unfortunate, because I have seen him at times actually being almost kind, completely polite, and even cracking a smile. (I think the last of those came when I surprised him with a carefully planned -very subtle-joke. It was fairly miraculous!)
It's not known at this point whether Mick will be returning to the house or going on to a safer environment (he often likes to berate the milder residents when they are careless enough to, say, sit inthe living room while he's home). If he doesn't return, I would just like to say that I enjoyed the Monopoly and Scrabble games, Mick. And I wish him (and his EYE) well.
Saturday, October 26, 2013
Wake Up Call: 10 American Foods That Are Banned in Other Countri...: Americans are slowly waking up to the sad fact that much of the food sold in the US is far inferior to the same foods sold in other nation...
Friday, October 25, 2013
I'm sucking on my second delicious coffee since about 9 pm, and I thought this would be an excellent time to jot down some thoughts. Since I AM still employed at The House, I will give you some observations about some of the people I get to work (for) with. I want to preface that, though, with this statement:
Whenever there is a group of people living under the same roof, eating meals together, and kinda doing life together, they will tend to become like a family. Whether it's been a group of college kids sharing rent, or an intentional community, it would seem to be the way things are. This is not a good thing nor a bad thing. Maybe it's better than it is worse, I don't know. But as I have been allowed to watch and learn from the folks here at The House, I can see that it is even more apparent that we need each other. Us. Humans. I'm glad, today, that God created us for relationships.
In order to protect the innocent (or not so innocent) I will use ficticious names, here, of course. None of the names are of the actual residents.
Every one who lives in this place has some kind of schizo-affective disorder, (among other things) which is to say at any given moment, there's probably someone hearing things that aren't there. Lots of paraniod delusions, too, so we often have to assure our people that we are NOT poisoning them. (No comments about when I get to help cook, please. And thank you.)
I guess I'll start with my favorites, which are easily Bill and Jane.
Bill is about 50, a soft-spoken gentleman who is often paranoid, and prefers to let the person who cuts his hair, shave him. He will get a pretty good scruff going before he decides to go get "gussied up"- I like to tease him. I asked him last time if he was going to get a mani-pedi, too? He grinned at me, and said no. His grins start at his eyes and eventually spread over his whole face.
Bill has paranoid schizophrenia, so every time he is in a vehicle we have to reassure him that "Yes, we will get there and back safe and alive." He grips the door and the cupholders while traveling.
One way we try to help him with this is to distract him while we're driving. Talking about the song on the radio is one way. Another is, when we go past the local "PNC" bank, we think of things the "PNC" might stand for. Bill thought of "Pretty Nice Chicks" once, and grinned. He clarified "I mean you know, like girls, chicks like girls." Pretty cute.
The first thing you notice about Bill, though, is the drool. He constantly drools. It's a side-effect of some of his medications, Unfortunately, it could give the impression that he's not too bright, but Bill is a smart guy. He told me that he studied architecture befoer he got sick, and checked out several books on blueprints at the library. I believe that he did. He's a smart cookie, under the mental illness.
Jane is tied for first place with Bill. She is also living with schizophrenia, almong other things. Jane talks about her thoughts falling out of her head all over the floor. She won't do to church because, as she explains it "what if I was thought-broadcasting and my thoughts flew out and hit, a Bishop, or the Minister, or something?" Jand is a delight. She is almost always smiling, and in a good mood. She comes off with some really random things, and she loves to go to the Dollar Store and buy stuff.
Jane goes to the Senior Center nearby and likes to hang out there. From what I hear, they fix lunch for them and also do a lot of crafts. Jane is a very crafty lady. Jane is about 65, but she wears her hair in a cute bob cut, and her mother still tries to boss her around. I guess some things are universal.
There are 6 other rooms here, but currently only 5 other occupants. We should be getting a "move-in" next week, which is sure to be interesting.
I love my job. I love being able to help people, I love being able to show them that I care, and helping them find solutions for their problems, even if it's the same solution, day after day. I will confide something to you, dear reader, but don't tell anyone. I feel lots of times, that I could easily have ended up in a place like this, where others get to tell you what to do, all day, and every day. Where not everyone recognises that you are a human, adult, and treats you with the respect and consideration that you deserve. I'm grateful that I have been able to get to this point with as sound a mind as I have.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Guest Blog: Break the Silence, Report Workplace Bullying
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
You might ask.
In short, it is an award that bloggers pass to one another to announce to the world the blogs they think are wonderful. When a blog is nominated for a Liebster there are some rules they are supposed to follow.
First, they must thank the blogger who nominated them.
Then they must answer 10 questions which the nominating blogger has asked.
Then they must nominate other blogs they feel are worthy.
They must then write 10 questions for their nominees to answer and must notify their nominees that they have been nominated.
Here are the questions I received:
1. What do you think about sheep?
I like them very much. I want to emulate them in a spiritual sense. But not in an intellectual sense.
2. Identify your most unloved possession. A Mac laptop
How did you acquire this thing?* I got in online.
3. Why did you think you needed it?*Thought I'd be able to master it and get out from under the heavily-virused (among other downfalls) Windows Empire.
4. How did it disappoint you?* Not for an untreated ADD mind to successfully accomplish. At that moment.
5. What is your favorite gardening tool? Fresh dirt. :)
6. What got you started blogging? I've always known I had a story to tell, and when I discovered the blogosphere, it was a natural step for me. I've been published in a hardcopy magazine once upon a time, but I like this because it's so much more personal.
7. What is the best way to build community? I wish I knew. Having give-aways seems to work for some folks.
8. When was the last time you grew something and produced a yield? last summer I was finally successful at tending to a little porch-garden. The tomatoes we got from that were by far the tastiest things EVER.
9. Did you save seeds from your yield? No. I was given them as little baby plants...:( Now I wonder if I should have? )
10. The last time you entered the wilderness, what brought you there?** My soul needs to be in the wilderness. I feel only half alive while in the concrete jungle, even as small as our current resident city is. Bliss is found in the company of birds, bugs (not including spiders, of course) and the occasional wood nymph. It's easier for me to touch the Almighty Spirit when not surrounded by so much
I look forward to reading all of your responses. I'm glad you are part of the blogging community, especially my little community. Blog on!
*This question was shamelessly copied out of “The Pocket Muse: Endless Inspiration” by Monica Wood, Copyright 2006 **Adapted from a question in “The Pocket Muse” ibid
As painfully far apart as my opportunities to blog have been lately, I'll have to do this in increments.
Today, I answer the Q's.
Next time I'll send out my nominations. :)
Thanks eversomuch, to my wonderful friend, Barb, Matron and HNIC of
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
1. Still employed. Learning a LOT about "Lateral Hostility". Wow. and from a "Christian".
2. The boy's "dad" is recovering (still) from his liver transplant. So far, so good.
3. Thanks to the recent decision to give the child medication for the AHDH, he's doing GREAT at school. I'm very proud.
Gotta run. Love and hugs~
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
It's been almost a month, and I have been SO very busy. You haven't been far from my heart, dear friends.
I have gotten through the official training phase for the awesome job, and now I am working on getting "the hang of it". I had to let my (ADD) secret out, after forgetting some fairly important things more than once. :C But, in the end, it has worked out, like always. I feel somewhat secure for the time being, because the new work schedule is out and MY NAME IS ALL OVER IT! lol
When we have internet at home, again, (not enough $ coming in took it's toll, as I know you can dig)I'll be able to fill you in a bit more.
With great sorrow I have to tell you that the Homeschooling has had to be put off...starting a new job and fighting with the boy to DO any schooling, has resulted in him going back to the evil public school. Yes, it's going to be a challenge for me to be pleasant in dealing with them.
They are currently "trying to get" an evaluation for him, through their OWN Psychiatrist. I don't know why, but our Dr.'s assessment laast year, of which they HAVE a note, will not suffice now. Yeah. So it will be up to 2 months before they can "decide" whether or not they will treat his learning disability for what it is.
I, in the meantime, have been looking into the legal aspects. Human nature is to take the path of least resistance, right? I am preparing to convince the school that THEIR best bet is to do what they are REQUIRED to. The boy's self-esteem took a beating last year, EVERY friggin' day, and that's not going to happen again. God help me.
The Big Guy is still working at the little diner, here in town, and getting to know most everyone in Edintucky. He's happy cooking, and I love that the little old ladies ask for him by name. (Who'd a thunk it?)
So, this evening I will be working to keep the nighttime safe for my residents. I'm going home when I finish this and will soon be napping, I hope. Got the coffee maker all prepared for a giant cuppa joe to take with me. (French vanilla/regular blend is nice.)
I've been feeling kind of isolated of late, but I know for sure that change is inevitable. At least with the job I am sure to interact with a few humans, there. By the way, staff is at least as much of a challenge (to work with) as the residents. But God's on my side. :)
Oh, and the Boy's "dad" had a liver transplant a couple of weeks ago and seems to be recovering well. I want to let myself hope that he will take this new life that he's been afforded, graciously, and use it...to, oh, I don't know, maybe PARTICIPATE in life. Namely, his boy's life. It would be wonderful if we weren't forever trying to un-do the insanity and stupidity that he teaches the boy on the weekends. (Yes, I think that about covers it. He is insane and...you get the picture.)
I'm looking for a cheap dehydrater, if you should know of anyone with a spare.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Secret DARPA Mind Control Project Revealed: Leaked Document Posted By Activist Post On July 29, 2013 @ 5:17 pm In Controlling the Herd,Editor's Choice,Videos and Media  What if the government could change people’s moral beliefs or stop political dissent through remote control of people’s brains? Sounds like science fiction, right? Well, a leaked document reveals that the US government, through DARPA research, is very close to accomplishing this. We were recently contacted by an anonymous whistleblower who worked on a secret ongoing mind-control project for DARPA. The aim of the program is to remotely disrupt political dissent and extremism by employing “Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation” (TMS) in tandem with sophisticated propaganda based on this technology. TMS stimulates the temporal lobe of the brain with electromagnetic fields. The program, conducted by The Center for Strategic Communication, is based at Arizona State University. The DARPA funding for this project can be confirmed on the ASU website here . The head of the project, Steve Corman , has worked extensively in the area of strategic communication as it applies to terrorism and “extremism” – or what could be called “the war of ideas.” Corman’s latest project Narrating The Exit From Afghanistan and his many presentations  make it quite obvious that the mission is to shape the narrative and literally change people’s minds. Lest one believe it will be contained to overseas extremists, we should keep in mind that the word extremist is increasingly used domestically. The dissenters of yesterday could easily become the terrorist sympathizers andsupporters of political violence tomorrow. Clearly, this DARPA research brings about many ethical questions and dilemmas. Mainly, this research aims to literally induce or disrupt the operation of narratives within the brain. In other words, this research aims to stop individuals from thinking certain thoughts and make others believe things they normally would not believe. This research has tremendous interrogation possibilities and could potentially be used to more successfully spread propaganda or stop political upheaval to an unsuspecting public. This research is being conducted by The Center for Strategic Communication at ASU and is entitled “Toward Narrative Disruptors and Inductors: Mapping the Narrative Comprehension Network and its Persuasive Effects”  A detailed overview of the project can be found in the document below. (WHOOPS! "Somebody" removed that link before I could get it posted here for you. It's not terribly difficult to verify it all...) Highlights include: •In phase 3 of the research, the research group will “selectively alter aspects of narrative structure and brain functions via Transcranial Magnetic Simulation (TMS) to induce or disrupt selected features of narrative processing.” (Page 16, emphasis added) TMS is a very powerful tool used to impair the brain functioning of individuals. See the videos below for a brief demonstration of the effects of TMS. •Once the research group determines which parts of the brain are associated with cognitive reasoning and narrative comprehension, they will be attempt to impair those sections in order to “create a fundamental basis for understanding how to disrupt or enhance aspects of narrative structure and/or brain functioning to minimize or maximize persuasive effects on subject proclivity to engage in political violence.” (Page 23) •Once it is determined that disruption of certain portions of the brain can enhance persuasive messaging, individuals can be persuaded to do things they normally would not do and believe things they normally would not believe. This could include something as simple as telling a closely guarded secret, to believing in government propaganda, or even committing a violent act. The group writes on page 26, “once we have produced a narrative comprehension model [i.e., how individuals comprehend stories and persuasive messages], end users [aka the government] will understand how to activate known neural networks (e.g., working memory or attention) and positive behavioral outcome (e.g., nonviolent actions) nodes with strategic communication messages as a means to reduce incidences of political violence in contested populations.” The group will investigate “possibilities for literally disrupting the activity of the NCN [narrative comprehension network] through Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation.” (page 30) [text added] •The group is so confident that they will be able to induce or disrupt the operations of narratives in the brain, that they say on page 26 that the research “offers the capability to induce or disrupt the operation of narratives in the brain, and develops the capability to induce narrative validity [i.e., the believability of a particular narrative/message], transportation [i.e., the ability to be engaged by a narrative], and integration [i.e., associating a particular narrative with a larger, more culturally specific narrative] with certainty.” [text added] •The group gives the following example of this projects usefulness: “If it is the case that activation in one particular neural network enables people to connect personal narrative to master narratives [i.e., cultural narratives], by disrupting activity in that brain area, we should be able to selectively impair that specific aspect of narrative processing while holding other meaning making processes constant, effectively creating a ‘narrative disruptor.’ Not only would this be an important finding in the science of neural networks and narrative persuasion, but would also have considerably practical and strategic importance.” (page 40) [text added] Essentially, the research aims to literally disrupt how people think and comprehend ideas and messages. •Further, and perhaps even more terrifying, on page 40, the group writes, “Mechanical disruptions of narrative processing may be, ultimately, replicated in through targeted strategic communication campaigns that approximate the narrative disruptions induced via magnetic stimulation.” So, after figuring out which parts of the brain are activated by particular persuasive messages and propaganda, the government can test out messages that only activate particular portions of the brain and not others, in order to persuade individuals to believe or not believe something. Essentially, they are attempting to modify brain functioning without TMS, and only words. One can only imagine the strategies the government could use with this technology. They could make the public believe almost anything that suits their needs. It could literally lead to mass brainwashing. But what does this mean, practically? It means that if this research succeeds, the government will be able to modify how one personally thinks. They could strap you in a chair, put a machine to your head, turn off parts of your brain, introduce a persuasive message, and make you believe it. Further, through extensive research, they may be able to replicate the machine’s brain disrupting functioning simply through carefully crafted and researched persuasive messages and propaganda. They can use brain imaging to determine which portions of the brain are activated when a particular message is presented to an individual, and if the “right” portions are activated, they know the message will circumvent one’s mental reasoning and lead to almost automatic acceptance. With enough data, the government could spread propaganda through the media that people will almost automatically believe, whether it is true or not. In terms of interrogation possibilities, Transcranical Magnetic Stimulation can be forced upon individuals to make them believe certain things, say certain things, and perhaps admit to acts they did not actually commit (as the TMS can induce narrative validity), or commit acts they normally would not commit. The government is literally trying to brainwash the public. This is not science fiction. Technology has made it possible to induce and disrupt cognitive functioning in individuals. In the future, your thoughts may not be your own, but ones that have been implanted into your brain through exceedingly successful and validated propaganda. Meeting notes indicate concern about how the project will be perceived, particularly the focus on the Christian/Muslim element. We encourage you to embed these documents on your own website or blog and share them with everyone you know. Page numbers listed above are based on Scribd conversion below; enter the page number you wish to view in the Scribd search box. Toward Narrative Disruptors and Inductors: Mapping the Narrative….  Center For Strategic Studies Meeting Notes 3-10-12  __________________________________________________ Additional information In 2002 The Economist  noted that neuroscience would be the future of mind control. Well, now we’re evidently here. This area of study has received $100 million in funding via Obama’s ten-year BRAIN Project , as well as a $1.3 billion commitment from Europe . The human brain is seen as the final frontier, and is being explored from every angle conceivable. The above investments are openly discussed. The same is true for the National Nanotechnology Initiative 2011 Strategic Plan . This 60-page document lays out a projected future “to understand and control matter” for the management of every facet of human life in the areas of environment, health and safety. Twenty-five U.S. Federal agencies are participating. Concurrently, there is heavy military funding through agencies such as the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). This raises the question of transparency when a “black budget” often justifies total secrecy in the name of national security. Advancements in neuroscience are coming at an exponential rate, as each day seems to headline a new breakthrough. For example, it recently has been announced that: •The ‘Google Earth’ of 3D Brain Maps is Here  •“Neural Dust”  is being researched, which could enable remote spying on the human brain. •A new microchip can mimic the brain  and imitate the brain’s information processing in real time. These are mainstream announcements and can no longer be dismissed as conspiracy theory. For now, there appears to be a lot of parsing of words within the ASU project to stress that this is about “persuasion” not “influence” which can be seen in the meeting notes. It’s also repeatedly mentioned that there is not a desire to organically change the brain itself, but to focus on the story being told and how to properly disseminate information — propaganda, in other words. Finally, there is the troubling note about focusing on the Christian/Muslim narrative as exemplary of the extremism which needs to be reprogrammed. Given what we know about the other military research into direct mind control, any benign assertions of this project at ASU must be called into question. The fact that members of this group were divided into teams red and blue to construct arguments for and against if word were to get out to “activists” and the public is additionally troubling. If we combine all of this information with other releases about The Pentagon’s work with “narrative networks,” reported on by the BBC , it becomes clear that now is the time to discuss ethics, as no one in the scientific and military communities seems eager to bring possible attacks on our free will to the forefront. Will you take the red pill or the blue pill? We would love to hear your thoughts about what has been revealed. Activist Post would also like to call on all experts in this field of research and/or other whistleblowers to come forward and bring out into the open what is being covered up. This technology could affect us all. NOTE: An e-mail sent to the program director at ASU requesting comments on this research did not receive a response. Other important research links: “The God Helmet.” : The effects of Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation were directly observed by a Wired magazine reporter. http://calhoun.nps.edu/public/bitstream/handle/….  http://futureofstorytelling.org/  http://www.nsiteam.com/pubs/U_Neurobiology%20of….  http://narrative.csail.mit.edu/ws12/proceedings.pdf  http://www.militaryaerospace.com/articles/2012/05/….  http://groups.csail.mit.edu/genesis/papers/Finlayson%202011.pdf  DD: Narrative Science Creates Automated News Stories http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWU7WFhZFS4 Delivered by The Daily Sheeple  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Contributed by Activist Post of Activist Post . -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Article copied from The Daily Sheeple: http://www.thedailysheeple.com URL to article: http://www.thedailysheeple.com/secret-darpa-mind-control-project-revealed-leaked-document_072013 URLs in this post:  Image: http://www.thedailysheeple.com/secret-darpa-mind-control-project-revealed-leaked-document_072013/brain  ASU website here: http://csc.asu.edu/projects/  Steve Corman: https://webapp4.asu.edu/directory/person/25690  Toward Narrative Disruptors and Inductors: Mapping the Narrative…. : http://www.scribd.com/doc/156562352/Toward-Narrative-Disruptors-and-Inductors-Mapping-the-Narrative-Comprehension-Network-and-its-Persuasive-Effects  Center For Strategic Studies Meeting Notes 3-10-12: http://www.scribd.com/doc/156566740/Center-For-Strategic-Studies-Meeting-Notes-3-10-12?secret_password=1ds5eqtdmkdicodzw2c3  The Economist: http://www.economist.com/node/1143583  BRAIN Project: http://www.activistpost.com/2012/02/elite-think-tanks-neuroscience-and.html  $1.3 billion commitment from Europe: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2013/05/neurologist-markam-human-brain/all/  National Nanotechnology Initiative 2011 Strategic Plan: http://www.nano.gov/nnistrategicplan211.pdf  The ‘Google Earth’ of 3D Brain Maps is Here: http://m.theatlanticwire.com/technology/2013/06/google-earth-3d-brain-maps-here/66465/  “Neural Dust”: http://www.technologyreview.com/view/517091/how-smart-dust-could-spy-on-your-brain/  A new microchip can mimic the brain: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/07/130722152705.htm  reported on by the BBC: http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20120501-building-the-like-me-weapon  “The God Helmet.”: http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/7.11/persinger.html  http://calhoun.nps.edu/public/bitstream/handle/….: http://calhoun.nps.edu/public/bitstream/handle/10945/13759/Deterring_Violent_Non-State_Actors.pdf?sequence=1  http://futureofstorytelling.org/: http://futureofstorytelling.org/  http://www.nsiteam.com/pubs/U_Neurobiology%20of….: http://www.nsiteam.com/pubs/U_Neurobiology%20of%20Political%20Violence%20-%20Dec10%20Final%20Approved%20for%20Release%205.31.11.pdf  http://narrative.csail.mit.edu/ws12/proceedings.pdf: http://narrative.csail.mit.edu/ws12/proceedings.pdf  http://www.militaryaerospace.com/articles/2012/05/….: http://www.militaryaerospace.com/articles/2012/05/darpa-launches-deft-program-to-pull-actionable-intelligence-out-of-ambiguously-worded-text.html  http://groups.csail.mit.edu/genesis/papers/Finlayson%202011.pdf: http://groups.csail.mit.edu/genesis/papers/Finlayson%202011.pdf  The Daily Sheeple: http://www.TheDailySheeple.com/  Activist Post: http://www.activistpost.com
Thursday, August 8, 2013
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world....
Troops Ordered To Kill All Americans Who Do Not Turn In Guns
Watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyfkQkchlu4 Published on Jul 16, 2012
Please spread the Word.
The UN Arms Trade Treaty that has been identified by observers as a flagrant threat to the second amendment and which Barack Obama is determined to sign has its roots in a 1961 State Department memorandum which explains how the United Nations will oversee "complete disarmament" of the American people under the ruse of preventing war.
The UN Arms Treaty has caused so much controversy because it outlines a plan to target "all types of conventional weapons, notably including small arms and light weapons," according to Forbes' Larry Bell. Former US Ambassador to the UN John Bolton also warns that the agreement "is trying to act as though this is really just a treaty about international arms trade between nation states, but there is no doubt that the real agenda here is domestic firearms control." A letter sent last month by 130 Republican House members to President Obama argued that the treaty should be rejected because it infringes on the "fundamental, individual right to keep and bear arms". The letter adds that "...the U.N.'s actions to date indicate that the ATT is likely to pose significant threats to our national security, foreign policy, and economic interests as well as our constitutional rights."
Using the rhetoric of the threat post by terrorists, insurgents and "international crime syndicates," the UN is busy trying to imply that all weapons are somehow involved in illegal activity on a global scale and should therefore be controlled and regulated by a global authority. This is precisely the same language used in a 1961 U.S. State Department briefing which outlined a long term agenda to carry out a "Program for General and Complete Disarmament in a Peaceful World."
Invoking the threat of nuclear warfare, the document spells out a plan to create a "United Nations Peace Force" that would "enforce the peace as the disarmament process proceeds." While the document initially focuses on scrapping nuclear weapons, it later makes it clear that the only groups allowed to own weapons of any kind would be governing authorities, "for the purpose of maintaining internal order," and the UN "peacekeeping" force itself, which would require "agreed manpower." "The manufacture of armaments would be prohibited except for those of agreed types and quantities to be used by the U.N. Peace Force and those required to maintain internal order. All other armaments would be destroyed or converted to peaceful purposes," states the document.
While the memorandum outlines a broader mandate to destroy national sovereignty, eviscerate national armies and institute the UN as the planet's supreme authority with a world army, the document serves as a stark reminder that the plan for the United Nations to oversee the abolition of the second amendment has been in the works for decades.
As Bell points out in his Forbes article, the threat of the Obama administration relying on a UN treaty to do what successive administrations have tried but failed to accomplish -- taking a huge bite out of the second amendment -- is by no means far fetched. After all, a plethora of UN treaties and international agreements have already stripped the United States of its sovereignty and its power to decide its own laws.
The power to authorize U.S. involvement in wars and conflicts has now been almost completely stripped from Congress and handed to the United Nations.·
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Tomorrow I begin the 1st of 4 training shifts!
Did I tell you what I'm doing? In case I didn't, my official position is Behavioral Health Tech. I'll be subbing, to begin, and it may turn into a full-time gig. :D
The place is a Transitional home for folks who had been living in the state psychiatric hospital. I can't tell you how happy I am for the opportunity to be an agent for POSITIVE change in these people's lives. I pray that I will be a blessing every time I am there.
Thanks for all of your prayers.
Now my sweet man & I will both be 1/2 time employees! ! :)
Oh, and the Home-schooling adventure will also be beginning directly...
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
I got the job!! I think I might be done with all of the gastro-intestinal distress I'd been having since interviewing, but it's too soon to be sure. (The Big Guy teased me about it being morning sickness. SUCH a comedian!)
Yesterday morning I got to "Shadow" a lady at the Transitional Home where I'll be working. It was fun, and I loved it. It seems odd to say that about something called "WORK", but I surely did feel like I was finally home. The residents were all pretty well-behaved, and the staff was all friendly as well. I heard that Monday had been an exciting and active day, but -maybe because "Tom" took his night-time pill in the morning-yesterday it was all good.
One of the ladies "Lulu", we'll call her, has been in a hospitalized setting for her entire adult life, and yesterday she was working on her plan to move into a 1-bedroom apartment. This is HUGE for her. I'm anxious to get to know everyone, and just from a few hours there, I'm already sure it will be a great thing. We took everyone but Lulu to the library (she was going to the Dollar Store, I think), and stopped on the way back for a Polar Pop. What a treat! :) One of the gentlemen regailed me with tales-more factoids, really-of New York City, New York State, and the many places he'd worked and also some about the weather in New York-not City, but State. I guess I asked for it by responding to his naming the song title of the music playing in the van. :) Then there was "Bill", who was looking sharp in his overalls and a constant line of saliva flowing off his lower lip.
I'm excited about having a place to go and make a difference. Funny that this came (1) so soon after helping my friend to get his feet back under him, and (2) after I'd finally concluded that I am making a difference in those I live with. I guess my confidence in THAT arena has been shaken, so I hoped to find somewhere else I could be a blessing. I know that this job will help me to be a better parent, again, as I will be practicing the communication and behavioral skills at work that'll help a lot at home.
Speaking of home, my youngest goes to his "dad's" for one more week and then it's back to 2 days a week ONLY. THANK GOD. We truly spend half of each week over the summer, after the boy comes back home, trying to get him to let go of the things he learns by watching the person he's with, there.
Crazy can certainly be learned, and we're fighting an uphill battle, to help him unlearn it once he gets home.
So, if you're a praying person, please keep us in your prayers. God's got this, I know, but we can't have too much help.
Ta ta for now.
Monday, July 8, 2013
A couple of weeks ago I got a text from a friend who's been kind of out of touch for a while. Shane is one of those people who, as soon as we got to know a little about one another, we just clicked. He's had a place in my heart, like a brother. Another thing about Shane, is that he's got D.I.D.
So, when I got the text from him that day, it was a surprise. I didn't know what he'd been up to of late, but the last time I saw him in February (or March?), he looked bad. and. was. miserable. I hated to leave him that day but I know that if a person doesn't want help...I just reassured him that he's not bad person because of making some not-so-great choices, and that when he wanted help to let me know.
He texted me 2 weeks ago today, and the Big Guy and I met him at the closest E.R....they transferred him to a hospital that was able to provide him the DD (Dual Diagnosed) help he needed. After a week there, he was in much better shape and we thought there was a place for him to go for some extended treatment. Turns out they were not prepared to have him there, but thank God someone suggested a place not too far away that did have a place for Shane. Between times, we got to have Shane say with us for 5 days.
I love helping people who are ready to do what they need to, and he's one of those. It was even more cramped than usual in our tiny little apartment, to be sure. But as unexpected guests go, it was really nice having him camp out for a while. The little one (E) was thrilled to have someone to play video games with, and the Big Guy and I were just glad to have our friend clean and safe again. At the first place, Shane was able to get on the medications that help him to handle to complexities of being him.
Big Guy & I each enjoyed having another Believer to share our thoughts with, and Shane even got to go to church with us Wednesday. Our Pastor has been a great help in this process, and God has obviously been working all along the way.
We don't know what's going to happen when Shane is done at the place he's staying now, nor do we know how long he will get to stay. One thing I know is that God will keep up His end of the deal (Being God and loving us), and we'll keep seeking His face.
Life is full of surprises, that's for sure. Today I got a call from a local Behavioral Health place that I applied for probably a year ago, to interview on Thursday. And tomorrow I'm hoping to see one of my best friends ever, who I only get to see once or twice a year.
So...tomorrow's another day. God is good all the time.
(Here's some more info, from psychcentral.net)
The presence of two or more distinct identities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to, and thinking about the environment and self).
At least two of these identities or personality states recurrently take control of the person’s behavior.
Inability to recall important personal information that is too extensive to be explained by ordinary forgetfulness.
The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., blackouts or chaotic behavior during Alcohol Intoxication) or a general medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures). Note: In children, the symptoms are not attributable to imaginary playmates or other fantasy play.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Friday, June 28, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
This morning I woke up with a heavy heart. After talking recently with a friend about how I've been doing pretty well for the last few months taking only half of the most recently prescribed dosage of antidepressants, some recent events would have had me wondering, not so long ago.
Today I know that it's normal to feel deeply, and my determination to rely more on God, (and as little as possible on chemicals) allows me to feel, and DEAL with it.
Now I'm sitting in a crowded food pantry, looking for a mental escape. ...it was as crowded today as I've ever seen it, and the place was full of overly warm bodies, and talking, yelling & the occasional baby crying - the sights & sounds of low-income and the discomforts of life, when you're broke and hungry.
At one point an overweight (most of the folks were, and probably under-nurished, statistically speaking) woman burst in, yelling and cursing at a thin, dirty young man sitting behind me to give back her ipad. The volunteers were pretty quick to get the situation taken outside, but not before she'd hit him. I heard the impact, but couldn't tell where she'd struck him. From his (non) reaction, it seemed like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary for their relationship.
One more part of "the norm" for under-educated, unemployed, oppressed, depressed populations. After the couple left, it occurred to me that some music would be nice, and w/ earbuds I would be able to block out the noise. Todd Agnew sang about Hope, and my spirit was soothed for a moment.
After the song was over, I unplugged the earbuds & put on some old-time hymns. I felt like it was something that I could contribute, to improve the place for all of us waiting.
A small thing, but the Spirit came through. For a few brief minutes, the chaos lifted. I felt better for having been able to help.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Here's a peek at the second movie I saw, recently. I almost lose my hope in ever finding movies that I'll feel-deeply-better after seeing. Then, I go and pick out a couple by myself, and praise God I hit pay-dirt TWICE.
This one is lighter than the other, overall, but also has it's moments that are hard to watch. The cast is GREAT and you will laugh until you cry. And you might just cry, too. Here's a clip, but you really oughta see the movie. This is only a tiny bit of it's goodness.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Last week *I* brought home a couple. Sigh. It was pretty nice. The Big Guy watched the first with me, and the Boy watched the second. They were both really good, about the Human Condition, relationships, responsibilities, and Human Services-type stuff. I think you'd probably like them, too.
I encourage you to see it. It's not too heavy and not too light. Kinda REAL. Like life.
Monday, June 17, 2013
After letting him sleep in till 11 (Yeah, he sets his own bedtime at the other place...so our week is spent making up for lost sleep.), we set to watering the porch garden, and admiring the babies a'sprouting (pictures to be added directly). Then we got to the Reading/Thinking class. Last time we read Matthew chapters 1-20 out of "The Message", and today we picked up at chapter 21. The Big Guy came home after 21, so we all heard & discussed chapters 22-25.
This brought up some good dialogue about why each religion is sure it's the ONE, and how can we know ours is the right one? After lunch, we viewed a dvd I've been wanting to share with E, "The Case For Christ", from the book by Lee Strobel. The boy asked if it had "Facts?" and I was very pleased to assure him that it's a LOT of facts. Mr. Strobel was an Investigative Reporter for the Chicago Tribune for many years, and he researched Jesus Christ as he would have for any other story.
Here's a link:
It's almost too much information for my little brain, but I hate that so much of the "Christian" world seems to think science is it's enemy. This is good stuff. Now, we ask ourselves, what are we going to do with this info?
Here are some pics of the beautiful tomatoes & peas growing in the realm of the brown thumb. ;)
Friday, June 14, 2013
Sunday, June 9, 2013
(Oops! Did I say that out loud?)
Watch "Obama Speech: Reject Voices About Gov't Tyranny" on YouTube
The truth will set you free. First, though, it will probably piss you off.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Now we begin homeschool.
As intimidating as that is, I'm convinced that it's the right thing for us. Some of the things he was "taught" in the local public school were SO incorrect, and that's not even talking about the section on religion I heard about. <BIG eye roll>
So, he goes to his Dad's for next week, and then we'll pick back up with h.s.-ing. I'm so relieved to have that year over with. I doubt that I'm the only parent, who, after hearing of the (Constant) shenanigans of certain teachers, thought "Does she not watch the news??" I could see easily why kids sometimes "go postal" in their schools.
GRATEFUL to have that chapter behind us. God willing, and the boy cooperates just a bit, we'll not be going back.
Now I'm going to go check on my little garden. : D
Monday, June 3, 2013
Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
There are valid reasons for revolution.
If the laws be so voluminous that they cannot be read, or so incoherent that they cannot be understood; if they be repealed or revised before they are promulgated, or undergo such incessant changes that no man, who knows what the law is to-day, can guess what it will be to-morrow. Law is defined to be a rule of action; but how can that be a rule, which is little known, and less fixed?
~ James Madison, Federalist Papers 62
How can you be an everyday revolutionary?
- Question absolutely everything you hear on the news. Always be a skeptic. All major media goes back to just a few conglomerates. The “news” is now all a propaganda ploy to help the rich get richer and the powerful remain in power. The media can make or break a candidate with unholy zeal in less than a week. These people and others like them are the ones that decide what “we the people” get to see. If they feel like a candidate or a news item might upset the status quo, they black it out by refusing to cover it.
- Call out the media. Let everyone know that the mainstream media is the enemy of the people. When you see coverage that is clearly biased, take a moment to call out the media about it. Take the time to comment on mainstream media websites and point out the unbalanced coverage. If you use social media, share this information and post on the media outlet’s social media pages as well.
- Get out of the banking system. By opting to “unbank” or “underbank” there is a limit to what can be easily stolen from you. When you have physical control of your financial assets, you are not at as high a risk of losing those assets, and therefore, less likely to be dependent on “the system”.
- Turn your savings into precious metals or tangible assets. On the same note as unbanking, you definitely don’t want to rely on a 401K or savings account to provide for you in your old age. Ask the people of Cyprus how well that worked out for them. Diversify with assets you can touch. Purchase tangible goods like land, food, ammo, and seeds. Once you are well supplied, move on to precious metals to preserve your wealth.
- Educate others. At the (very high) risk of people thinking you’re crazy, it’s important to let people know WHY you do what you do. If you are an anti-Monsanto activist, teach others about the dangers of GMOs. If you object to a municipal policy, speak at a town meeting or send a letter to the editor of your local paper. By ranting incoherently or by keeping your mouth shut, you influence no one. By providing provable facts, you can open minds and awaken others to tyranny.
- Get others involved in the fight. For example, if you are fighting with the city council that wants to rip out the vegetables growing in your front yard, let your friends and neighbors know, post a notice at the grocery store, and write a letter to the editor. When injustice occurs, use the power of social media to spread awareness. Often a public outcry is what is necessary to get the “authorities” to back down. Look at the case of Brandon Raub, the veteran who was kidnapped and taken to a mental hospital for things he posted on Facebook. Raub was not charged, but he was detained in the psych ward involuntarily. His friends and family immediately mobilized and spread the videos of his arrest all over the internet. It snowballed and alternative media picked it up – soon Raub was released, and all because of a grass roots and social media campaign to bring the injustice to light.
- Grow your own food. Every single seed that you plant is a revolutionary act. Every bit of food that you don’t have to purchase from the grocery store is a battle cry for your personal independence. When you educate yourself (and others) about Big Food, Big Agri, and the food safety sell-outs at the FDA, you will clearly see that we are alone in our fight for healthy, nutritious foods. Refuse to tolerate these attacks on our health and our lifestyles. Refuse to be held subject to Agenda 21′s version of “sustainability”.
- Take control of your health. It is imperative that you not blindly trust in the medical establishment. Many members of this establishment are merely prostitutes for their pimp, Big Pharma. Millions of children are given powerful psychotropic drugs to help them fit into the neat little classroom boxes, and the numbers are growing every day. Americans spent 34.2 BILLION dollars on psychiatric drugs in 2010. (Source) Big Pharma is an enormously profitable industry that only pays off if they can convince you that you’re sick. Learn about the toxic injections and medications, weight the risks and benefits, and always look for second and third opinions before making a medical decision. Maintain your health by avoiding toxins, exercising, and ditching your bad habits to reduce the number of doctor’s visits that are necessary.
- Refuse to comply. If you know your natural rights, which are guaranteed under the Constitution and its Amendments, then it makes it much harder for “authorities” to bully you. You don’t have to let them search your home without a warrant, you don’t have to answer questions, and you don’t have to comply with laws that are in conflict with the Constitution.
- Learn. Every day, spend time learning. This shouldn’t stop once our formal education ends. Fill your mind with history, with current events, with constitutional law, and information about the natural world. Learn about health, study economics, research things that interest you, and unravel the complicated conspiracies that are afoot. To pursue unbiased knowledge is to free your mind from the prison of propaganda and indoctrination.
- Don’t consume chemicals that cause you to be dumbed down. Avoid chemical-laden food with brain-killing neurotoxins like MSG and aspartame. Don’t drink fluoridated water.
- Embrace your right to bear arms. Be responsible for your own safety and security.
- Don’t be in debt. No one can be free if they are in debt. If you are in debt, you are forced to work in whatever conditions are present, for whatever amount is offered, complying with whatever criteria is necessary to keep your job. in order to either pay your debt or face penalties. As well, the high interest rates that you pay only serve to make the bankers more wealthy. Instead of borrowing, save until you can afford something or realize that if you could actually afford it, you wouldn’t need to borrow money to have it.
- Be prepared for disaster. Have enough food, water, and supplies to take care of your family in the event of a natural disaster. Don’t expect FEMA to take care of you.
- Be involved in your children’s education. For some, this means homeschooling or unschooling, and for others this means being on top of what they are learning in a formal school setting. Join the PTA and actively volunteer if your child goes to school. Be an advocate for your child and insist that the teachers teach. If your child goes to school, supplement this at home with discourse about current events and outings that help them learn about the world around them.
- Be the squeaky wheel. If you see something wrong, don’t just ignore it. Say something about it, and keep saying something until it changes. Whether this is some process that infringes on your privacy, a job requirement that impedes your health, or another injustice, pursue it relentlessly. Ask questions publicly, write letters, and use social media to bring pressure to encourage a change.
- Reduce your consumer spending. Spending less helps to starve the beast by reducing the sales taxes you pay and withdrawing your financial support to big conglomerates. If we vote with our dollars, eventually there will, of a necessity, be a paradigm shift that returns us to simpler days, when families that were willing to work hard could make a living without selling their souls to the corporate monoliths. A low-consumption lifestyle reduces your financial dependency, which allows for more freedom.
- Ditch popular culture. If reality TV isn’t a tool for dumbing people down, I don’t know what it is. My daughter recently begged to watch an episode of a popular reality TV show that “everyone” was watching. She managed about 15 minutes of it and then said, “This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen”. She decided to read a book instead. Popular entertainment is a media tool used to change our perspectives about our personal values, and to tell us how to think and feel about issues.
- Buy locally. Support local small businesses to help others who are fighting for independence from the system. You might pay a little bit more than you would at your big box store, but the only people benefiting from your purchases made at the corporate stores are those with the 7 figure annual bonuses.
- Develop multiple streams of income. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket. Figure out several ways to bring in income. Not only does this free you from being a wage slave, but it allows you to hire friends or family members. You are less entangled in the system and not subject to corporate whims. If one business fails, or becomes subject to regulations that make it no longer worthwhile, you are not forced to comply just to keep a roof over your head.
- Say thanks, but no thanks. There is no such thing as a benevolent hand out. Nearly anything offered for free (particularly by a government entity) has strings attached. Maybe there is a handy-dandy registration form that you need to fill out. You might be influenced to vote a certain way just to keep the freebies coming. You might have to pee in a cup every two weeks. Perhaps one day you’ll need to have a microchip embedded in your hand. Either way, by accepting handouts from those in “authority”, you become beholden to them or you need them, and someone who is free is neither beholden nor needy.
- Don’t take the easy road. The PTB like to seduce people with simplicity. “If you just sign this paper, it will be much easier,” they say. “This chip is for your convenience,” they tell you. “By giving up this, it lets us take care of you and you will be much safer.” The easy road only gets you to Slave Street a whole lot faster. Take the difficult road and be responsible for yourself. Don’t take shortcuts that compromise your beliefs. Go to court to fight a ticket, read the laws and defend yourself, and know that anything you give up, you will never get back.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
The choice really is ours. Knowing how easily I could be bitter about the past is a great thing: it absolutely sends me back running to my Lord for another scoop. Scoop of what, you ask?
A scoop of grace, a heaping scoop of forgiveness, a pitcher of love...and gratitude-about a gallon, daily- for reminders of what I will become if I'm not DILLIGENTLY on guard against the flood of negativity we all face every day.
I need all those things and more, in practicing love and acceptance with the people in my life.
Thank the Lord for a BETTER perspective today. And for making my little porch garden grow. :)
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
As I sat listening to the man talking about it this weekend, it occurred to me that I had some forgiveness I needed to take care of.
It's been rather heavy on my mind, for a while, now: my sins as a Mother. I know that for whatever reasons, most of the time since becoming a parent, I haven't felt like one. I've had times, of course, where I've felt overwhelmingly that I was a Mother. Good times & scary times.
So it dawned on me this weekend, as I sat listening to this man, that what I long for, deeply within, is forgiveness from my children. The next thought was that I had to forgive my own Mom.
As much as she's done for me -for us- I couldn't deny that there was still bitterness in my heart. I guess it's been there for so long that it'd become invisible to me.
The fact is, the feelings of love I have for her are so clouded with hurt and resentment that it colors all of my interactions with her.
I know that way back when I last did a 4th step, I'd addressed those things. However, I'd allowed those things to subtly creep back into my mind, my heart, and my relationship with not only Mom, but others in my life, as well.
I apologized to my husband and my boy as soon as I could. The resentments were poison that I was unintentionally spewing out onto them.
Admitting there was a problem was just the beginning. Now it's going to be my job to show the change in my heart...through loving. Loving Mom and respecting her with ny words and my actions.
How much closer can I really hope to get to God, until this sin has been dealt with? Yes, I said it. It's sin. It makes me crazy. Two really great reasons to get rid of it.
So, this is what I'll be working on, inside.
Have a blessed week, ok? :)
Monday, May 6, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
He couldn't hold a job for more than a few months before his major depression and paranoia would take over, causing him to lose the job, his friends and wherever he was living. Suicide attempts landed him in hospitals. He went on disability after a doctor determined he couldn't handle stress, and spent years in isolation, barely able to go to the grocery store.
Now Acker works 50 hours a week in a job that requires constant socialization. He's married. He leads camping trips, kayaks, and speaks publicly about mental health policies.
"It took the system to change in order for me to change," he said.
Now 48, Acker has lived through a significant shift in how the state addresses mental health -- one that has made Connecticut a leader in a national push to move from a "medical" approach to mental illness to a so-called recovery model.
In the old system, medication and therapy were seen as "the center of the universe," said Jim Siemianowski, a spokesman for the state Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services. He worked as a senior policy adviser in the department in the early 2000s when the shift began.
"The recovery model really looks at a person much more holistically, and says that people need stable housing, people recover by working, people belong to communities or want to belong to communities, they participate in church or religious services," Siemianowski said. "There is a much broader look at the whole person."
In the old model, Acker said, the top priority of his treatment was making sure he took his medications. It seemed to focus on his weaknesses. Although he loved radio, he was discouraged from pursuing a career in broadcasting, and eventually was told he wouldn't be able to work at all.
The recovery model flipped that. It's aimed at building on people's strengths and passions as a way to recover, and helps people develop skills to live independently.
"They stopped telling me what my goals were and what they should be, and they started asking me, 'Well, what do you want?'" Acker said.
Broken, but not sure how
Acker began seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication before he was 8. He had lots of energy, and thinks that today it would be considered ADHD. He says he can't think of anything positive that came from the years of his childhood spent in therapy.
"The major thing that I think I carried with me all these years is that I was broken, and I wasn't necessarily sure how because no one was telling me how," he said. "We would go to school meetings and all these people with master's degrees and professionals sitting around, and they would look at me and say, 'So what's wrong with you? What's the problem here? We're seeing this, this, this and this that's wrong, and we want you to fix it.'"
As a teen, he dropped out of high school. He worked at a bank, then as a short-order cook. Both jobs, like the ones that followed, lasted a few weeks. Inevitably, "the bottom would drop out" -- his illness would erupt, he'd lose the job, and become homeless.
Major depression means having no hope, seeing the worst in every situation. Having ham for dinner? Acker would immediately think he'd contract some horrible illness from it.
He felt it in his legs. Everything was exhausting, even rolling over in bed. He lost interest in everything, even listening to the radio.
The outside world fed it, too. Everyone's felt depressed -- most go through a rough time and get over it. "If you tell someone you have a diagnosis of depression, it's like, 'Ah, get over it! It's nothing!'" Acker said. "And so it's kind of like this public view that also feeds into, 'Oh my God, why can't I get over this?'"
Some people would imply that he was just lazy. And as much as he knew that he could work hard, there was always a shred of doubt in his mind. "When your self-esteem has been so brought down, it's like that's just one more thing to beat yourself with," he said.
The paranoia made him think people were looking at him, so he avoided going out. When he did, it could take three to four hours to get out the door.
In his teens and early 20s, Acker self-medicated with drugs. He attempted suicide, ending up in psych wards. In 1989, he took 45 Percocets and spent two months in a hospital. A psychiatrist told him he couldn't handle stress and should go on disability.
And that began what he calls "my time in isolation." He rented a room in Farmington and retreated from the world. He grocery shopped at night when fewer people were in the store. At times, he'd give his 89-year-old landlady his grocery list with some money.
Eventually, he moved back in with his mom.
While Acker was in isolation, the state's mental health system was changing.
The recovery movement grew out of research showing that many people with even very serious mental illnesses could recover. It also grew from a push by people with mental health diagnoses to have a say in their treatment.
By the early 2000s there was a growing body of research challenging the historic view that a mental illness was a life sentence, Siemianowski said. There was also a growing recognition of the importance of naturally occurring supports in the community, like family, friends and activities. The federal government was increasingly emphasizing the idea of recovery.
And clients pushed for changes. "Some of what we were hearing from them was they simply wanted a life in the community, just like you or I," Siemianowski said. "They wanted relationships. They wanted to work. They wanted to feel like they were contributing to their towns."
All that spurred a multi-year process at DMHAS to move from a medical focus to one based on recovery, to identify housing resources and how to link people to work and tap into natural supports.
"It really was a systemic change," Siemianowski said.
The department worked with clients and mental health providers, who he said were hesitant to make changes, concerned that it was just "the flavor of the day." DMHAS trained case managers and therapists on how to use recovery principles in their work.
The concept is about more than the premise that a person can get better. It also assumes that each person has some expertise about what works for him, and that the relationship between a client and clinician is a partnership.
Under the old model, people would be discouraged from working until after they were stable on their medications. The new model treats work, or pursuing any passion, as a way to help spur recovery by tapping into what motivates a person.
There's an emphasis on helping people develop the skills to live independently.
"If you're someone who's needing to live independently, I can go out, make a shopping list for you, take you shopping, and bring you back home," Siemianowski said. "I think in a recovery model, we're looking at how do we build the skills, so that you identify what is it you want to eat, how do you plan your meals, what do you put on your shopping list and while we may take you, the idea is helping people to do for themselves rather than me doing something for you."
By 2005, more than a decade after giving up on the mental health system, Acker realized something had to change. He sought job assistance, and was told he'd first need to get help.
He was skeptical when he first went to InterCommunity, a private mental health care provider in East Hartford.
"Oh great, another psychiatrist," he thought. "What are they going to tell me that's different this time?"
But it was.
At the first session, the clinician asked Acker what his goals were. He realized that he didn't have any.
But he thought of three: Get an apartment so he could move out of his mom's house. Get a part-time job to pay for the apartment. Make some friends after 14 years in isolation.
"Ok, those are good goals," the therapist said. "Let's work on those."
It's a simple statement, but to Acker, it was a tremendous change -- being asked what he wanted, and supported.
"It gets people excited," Acker said. "It gets people wanting to do things, which is a huge change."
Eight years later, Acker has "obliterated" his initial goals.
"When people have the proper supports and encouragement, they can blow through goals and do stuff that people never thought they would be able to do," he said. "And when they don't, they don't."
In his case, support meant therapy, medication, vocational training and case management.
The gap on his resume would have made finding a job tough, so he participated in a transitional employment program to help build his work skills, serving as a receptionist. He got a part-time job doing technical support for the state's distance learning consortium. Two days later, he was offered a full-time job at Intercommunity, as a rehab counselor.
Three months later he was promoted to manager of the agency's social club.
It's not the most obvious job for someone who isolated himself for years, who used to go outside only if he was mowing the lawn and wearing headphones -- tools for keeping people away. But Acker says the job forced him to be social, to model social skills for others. And he treasures being in a position to help others facing the things he once did.
The workplace is supportive, helping him to build up his confidence.
But he still has ups and downs.
After three years at Intercommunity, the bottom fell out again. Acker emailed his boss to say he quit. I don't know what's going on with me, he wrote, but everything feels messed up.
She wouldn't let him quit.
"They supported me through it," Acker said. "They didn't say, 'Oh well, this is what people with mental illness do, see ya later.'"
Acker went on medical leave for three months. But this time, it was different. He'd learned skills, ways to reframe the way he saw the world, to push back against the "Armageddon's coming" feeling. Now he just needed to tap into them.
"It's like someone turns out the lights and changes the furniture in your room," he said. "You know your same furniture's there. You just gotta find it now."
After three months, he went back to work. The bottom hasn't fallen out since.
Along the way, Acker has accepted that there's no cure for his mental illness, that recovery is a continual process, not being free from depression. It means there are ways to make it better, like having a three-year stretch of working with no crashing and burning, something he never thought would be possible.
"There's a part of me that's like, 'Oh my God, the bottom's going to drop out soon,'" he said. "But there's a part of me going, 'No, I've learned some more skills so I can go a little further this time.'"
"And I don't know how much further that is. It could be tomorrow, it could be another five years. But I feel more hopeful that I'm able to do it."
Follow Mirror health reporter Arielle Levin Becker on Twitter @ariellelb.