"Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly." -Albert Einstein
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-esteem. Show all posts

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Recovery Coach Training

So a few weeks ago I was in the first part of the ICAADA training to be a Peer Recovery Coach. I wanted to tell you about some of the highlights, especially yesterday's walk through the hall of shame. It felt like a viewing you might go to after someone dies. I have pictures to add, but they will have to be posted later.
The topic yesterday was "Stigma". We broke up into 3 groups and each group made a list on large pieces of newsprint paper of the words that come to mind when you think about:
Alcoholics
Drug Addicts
Mentally Ill
Recovery.
Each group made a pretty extensive list.
Then we hung the lists up together in the meeting room across the hall from the classroom. We were instructed to walk through the room, single-file, silently.
The entire class walked through the room in about 15 minutes' time, then returned to our seats, still silently, considering the things we'd just read.
I will add the posters when I am able.
I think I can safely say that most of us were in tears after this reminder of who we had been, for so long. Even with so much time, so many years, between myself and the days of drinking and drugging, it brought back many painful memories.
I 'd believed the lies for so long, and run so hard after the (non-existent) rewards smoke and mirrors of the party-girl/addicts' lifestyle.In that room, with 2 dozen of our peers, we confronted our collective demons.


 Now, before I continue, I feel that I should tell you that not ALL of these adjectives described me, completely. But, yes; most did.
We discussed what had just happened. We talked about the stigmas of addiction, alcoholism, and of mental illness, all of which were represented in our group. Most of us saw our former selves on more than one of the papers.
I can't recall what my peers said, but the feelings were all the same: guilt, shame, sorrow, self-loathing, to name a few.
What I shared afterward, was that it felt a lot like when I did my first 5th Step. Writing the inventory wasn't so hard, but letting someone else see the labels I'd carried around, was terrifying. I was deeply afraid that all the things I'd thought about myself, even before ever picking up, would be confirmed as true
.But what I said then, was that I'm a little bit less of that person, every day that I stay clean. I never want to be her, again.
I will be eternally grateful for the Trainers and my friends who went on that disturbing walk through the "Wall of Pain" with me. We learned, that week, how to better use our pains to help the addict/alcoholics that God will faithfully our paths.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

I'd like to have more security. How about you?

"Do not stop thinking of life as an adventure. You have no security unless you can live bravely, excitingly, imaginatively, unless you can choose a challenge instead of a competence."
 -Eleanor Roosevelt

Friday, October 25, 2013

Greetings from The House.





I'm sucking on my second delicious coffee since about 9 pm, and I thought this would be an excellent time to jot down some thoughts. Since I AM still employed at The House, I will give you some observations about some of the people I get to work (for) with. I want to preface that, though, with this statement:
Whenever there is a group of people living under the same roof, eating meals together, and kinda doing life together, they will tend to become like a family. Whether it's been a group of college kids sharing rent, or an intentional community, it would seem to be the way things are. This is not a good thing nor a bad thing. Maybe it's better than it is worse, I don't know. But as I have been allowed to watch and learn from the folks here at The House, I can see that it is even more apparent that we need each other. Us. Humans. I'm glad, today, that God created us for relationships.

In order to protect the innocent (or not so innocent) I will use ficticious names, here, of course. None of the names are of the actual residents.

Every one who lives in this place has some kind of schizo-affective disorder, (among other things) which is to say at any given moment, there's probably someone hearing things that aren't there. Lots of paraniod delusions, too, so we often have to assure our people that we are NOT poisoning them. (No comments about when I get to help cook, please. And thank you.)

I guess I'll start with my favorites, which are easily Bill and Jane.

Bill is about 50, a soft-spoken gentleman who is often paranoid, and prefers to let the person who cuts his hair, shave him. He will get a pretty good scruff going before he decides to go get "gussied up"- I like to tease him. I asked him last time if he was going to get a mani-pedi, too? He grinned at me, and said no. His grins start at his eyes and eventually spread over his whole face. 
Bill has paranoid schizophrenia, so every time he is in a vehicle we have to reassure him that "Yes, we will get there and back safe and alive." He grips the door and the cupholders while traveling.
One way we try to help him with this is to distract him while we're driving. Talking about the song on the radio is one way. Another is, when we go past the local "PNC" bank, we think of things the "PNC" might stand for. Bill thought of "Pretty Nice Chicks" once, and grinned. He clarified "I mean you know, like girls, chicks like girls." Pretty cute.
The first thing you notice about Bill, though, is the drool. He constantly drools. It's a side-effect of some of his medications, Unfortunately, it could give the impression that he's not too bright, but Bill is a smart guy. He told me that he studied architecture befoer he got sick, and checked out several books on blueprints at the library. I believe that he did. He's a smart cookie, under the mental illness.

Jane is tied for first place with Bill. She is also living with schizophrenia, almong other things. Jane talks about her thoughts falling out of her head all over the floor. She won't do to church because, as she explains it "what if I was thought-broadcasting and my thoughts flew out and hit, a Bishop, or the Minister, or something?" Jand is a delight. She is almost always smiling, and in a good mood. She comes off with some really random things, and she loves to go to the Dollar Store and buy stuff.
Jane goes to the Senior Center nearby and likes to hang out there. From what I hear, they fix lunch for them and also do a lot of crafts. Jane is a very crafty lady. Jane is about 65, but she wears her hair in a cute bob cut, and her mother still tries to boss her around. I guess some things are universal.

There are 6 other rooms here, but currently only 5 other occupants. We should be getting a "move-in" next week, which is sure to be interesting.

I love my job. I love being able to help people, I love being able to show them that I care, and helping them find solutions for their problems, even if it's the same solution, day after day. I will confide something to you, dear reader, but don't tell anyone. I feel lots of times, that I could easily have ended up in a place like this, where others get to tell you what to do, all day, and every day. Where not everyone recognises that you are a human, adult, and treats you with the respect and consideration that you deserve. I'm grateful that I have been able to get to this point with as sound a mind as I have.
But sometimes, I feel like I'm undercover. I'm really much closer to the residents here than anyone else needs to know.  ;)

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Before I dash off...

Hi. I'm so ready to be able to sit down and tell you all that's been going on. The drama, the angst, the grace, the bullsh*t....You know, life. But, alas, I'm on my way out the door after a 13-hour day. I'm not sure when we're gonna have the luxury of the internet back at the homestead. I'll try to sneak out to the library tomorrow so I can fill you in a bit.
1. Still employed. Learning a LOT about "Lateral Hostility". Wow. and from a "Christian".
2. The boy's "dad" is recovering (still) from his liver transplant. So far, so good.
3. Thanks to the recent decision to give the child medication for the AHDH, he's doing GREAT at school. I'm very proud.

Gotta run. Love and hugs~
Abs

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Catching up. A little.





It's been almost a month, and I have been SO very busy. You haven't been far from my heart, dear friends.
I have gotten through the official training phase for the awesome job, and now I am working on getting "the hang of it". I had to let my (ADD) secret out, after forgetting some fairly important things more than once. :C But, in the end, it has worked out, like always. I feel somewhat secure for the time being, because the new work schedule is out and MY NAME IS ALL OVER IT! lol
When we have internet at home, again, (not enough $ coming in took it's toll, as I know you can dig)I'll be able to fill you in a bit more.
With great sorrow I have to tell you that the Homeschooling has had to be put off...starting a new job and fighting with the boy to DO any schooling, has resulted in him going back to the evil public school. Yes, it's going to be a challenge for me to be pleasant in dealing with them.
They are currently "trying to get" an evaluation for him, through their OWN Psychiatrist. I don't know why, but our Dr.'s assessment laast year, of which they HAVE a note, will not suffice now. Yeah. So it will be up to 2 months before they can "decide" whether or not they will treat his learning disability for what it is.
I, in the meantime, have been looking into the legal aspects. Human nature is to take the path of least resistance, right? I am preparing to convince the school that THEIR best bet is to do what they are REQUIRED to. The boy's self-esteem took a beating last year, EVERY friggin' day, and that's not going to happen again. God help me.
The Big Guy is still working at the little diner, here in town, and getting to know most everyone in Edintucky. He's happy cooking, and I love that the little old ladies ask for him by name. (Who'd a thunk it?)
So, this evening I will be working to keep the nighttime safe for my residents. I'm going home when I finish this and will soon be napping, I hope. Got the coffee maker all prepared for a giant cuppa joe to take with me. (French vanilla/regular blend is nice.)
I've been feeling kind of isolated of late, but I know for sure that change is inevitable. At least with the job I am sure to interact with a few humans, there. By the way, staff is at least as much of a challenge (to work with) as the residents. But God's on my side. :)
Oh, and the Boy's "dad" had a liver transplant a couple of weeks ago and seems to be recovering well. I want to let myself hope that he will take this new life that he's been afforded, graciously, and use it...to, oh, I don't know, maybe PARTICIPATE in life. Namely, his boy's life. It would be wonderful if we weren't forever trying to un-do the insanity and stupidity that he teaches the boy on the weekends. (Yes, I think that about covers it. He is insane and...you get the picture.)

I'm looking for a cheap dehydrater, if you should know of anyone with a spare.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

One week later...

So, last week, my youngest finished 6th grade. The report card was GREAT!!
Now we begin homeschool.
As intimidating as that is, I'm convinced that it's the right thing for us. Some of the things he was "taught" in the local public school were SO incorrect, and that's not even talking about the section on religion I heard about. <BIG eye roll>
So, he goes to his Dad's for next week, and then we'll pick back up with h.s.-ing. I'm so relieved to have that year over with. I doubt that I'm the only parent, who, after hearing of the (Constant) shenanigans of certain teachers, thought "Does she not watch the news??" I could see easily why kids sometimes "go postal" in their schools.
GRATEFUL to have that chapter behind us. God willing, and the boy cooperates just a bit, we'll not be going back.

Now I'm going to go check on my little garden. : D

Monday, April 22, 2013

The mental health system changed, and so did his life

*I found this to be very encouraging. I hope you will, too.*


Friday, April 12, 2013

You may be right. I may be crazy. But...bite me.




I found this recently, and I knew I'D want to read it again at some point. 
 I thought you  might want to, too. 

54 UNIQUE BENEFITS OF HOMESCHOOLING

By Joel Turtel
April 22, 2008

Parents, is homeschooling the right choice for you and your children? Maybe you think you don’t have the time to homeschool because you work. Perhaps you don’t have confidence in your ability to teach your kids because you never took “teaching” courses.

But consider the alternative. Public schools can destroy your children’s self-esteem, destroy their ability to read, strangle their love of learning, put them in physical and moral danger, and wreck their future.

In contrast, here’s 54 unique benefits homeschooling can give you and your kids, as written and explained by Laura B., a smart, wonderful wife, mother of three, homeschooler, and business owner who works from home and still focuses on her family!

Homeschooling (or low-cost internet private schools), can have the following extraordinary benefits for you and your children:
1. Be with Your Family
2. Set Your Own Schedule
3. Vacation When You Want
4. Choose curriculum that best suits the needs of your child
5. Be totally aware of the state and progress of your child's education
6. Keep your child away from un-necessary peer pressure
7. Keep your child away from the bad influence of other children
8. Love, nurture, and teach your child the character and morals you value most
9. Make learning fun
10. Make learning as "experiential" as you want
11. Don't have to get up at the crack of dawn to get your child dressed and fed and off to school where their so tired they don't learn well anyway.
12. Break up the day however you want to fit your child's learning attention span
13. Teach your child without any "assumed limitations". Teach multiple languages, develop one skill or subject--the sky's the limit
14. What you teach an older child naturally filters down to the younger child(ren) making learning must easier and faster for siblings
15. Teach at the pace and developmental stage appropriate for your child
16. Avoid educational "labeling"
17. Keep you child as far away from drugs as possible
18. Never have to worry about bomb scares or mass shootings
19. Allow your child to do think, discuss, and explore in ways not possible in a classroom setting
20. Constant positive reinforcement and gentle correction. No abusive words or actions that scar your child's psyche
21. Don't use the school system as a babysitter. You only need a few hours for learning--the rest of the day is filled with unnecessary "busy work"
22. Develop life skills such as cooking, cleaning, and organizing that are easily learned with the additional time spent at home
23. Spend as much time outdoors as you want to enjoy nature and the world around us
24. Teach the value of responsibility by providing daily jobs
25. To make money management as natural as breathing by allowing even small children to do tasks, earn money, save it, and spend it in an appropriate manner.
26. Never have your child beat up by a bully. Teach self-defense skills that will enable him to deal with any situation but not until he is mature enough to handle the emotional aspects of confrontation
27. No pressure or set "expectations" from teachers on a younger sibling that follows an older sibling in the same school
28. Be around when your child needs to talk
29. Take a break when your child needs a break
30. Bond as a family through family group activities
31. Pass on your religious beliefs and morals to your children and stay away from the "indoctrination" of other school systems
32. Teach sex education when you and how you want
33. Develop your child's imagination and teach diverse problem solving skills instead of one institutionalized method of thinking
34. Unlimited possibilities for extra curricular activities that interest your child having to live up to the expectations or skills of others.
35. Develop the individualism of your child
36. Avoid traditional school "group activities" that may leave one student doing all the work or ruining it for everyone else.
37. Never have your child feel the failure, embarrassment, or teasing from "failing" a grade
38. To keep your children out of the care, custody, and control or people you don't know and who naturally teach their philosophy of life whether they realize it or not
39. No opportunity for your child to "sluff off", "snow-blow", or "just get by" with academics
40. To have your child learn initiative naturally as there's no peer pressure or fear of embarrassing himself
41. Allow your child to have input and say in subject matter and style
42. Allow your child to focus on growth and development--not following the latest fad or being in a certain group
43. So your child will only be surrounded by people who love him, encourage him, and want the best for him.
44. Make sure your child doesn't end up graduating without knowing how to read or knowing other basic skills due to educational failings of your local schools.
45. Keep your child out of private schools that have peer pressure, teacher criticism, drugs, sex, and alcohol that your child never needs to be around
46. Avoid grading scales and testing that gives no positive benefit to your child
47. Not to give the state or federal government control of your child that they assume is theirs
48. To easily pass on your unique heritage or language to your child
49. So your child is not limited by "age" or "grade" to advance or explore academics in which they are interested or gifted
50. To teach your children to enjoy life
51. To allow your children to go to work with Mom or Dad when you all want--not just on the one "go to work with a parent holiday"
52. As many field trips as you want, to places that interest your child
53. To just take a day off when everyone feels like it
54. Flexibility to switch or experiment with different curriculum
Parents, if you are disgusted with public schools and want your children to have the great education they deserve, why not consider homeschooling? Millions of parents now homeschool their kids, and many of these parents are only high-school graduates.
Subscribe to the NewsWithViews Daily News Alerts!

Enter Your E-Mail Address:

In the last three chapters of “Public Schools, Public Menace,” you’ll find many ways to homeschool your kids or use internet private schools, even if you work. Homeschooling can be a lot easier, and take a lot less time than you think. It can also bring you great joy in teaching your children.
© 2008 Joel Turtel - All Rights Reserved


P.S. I love my kid too much to put him through the public schools any longer, if I can POSSIBLY avoid it. Knowledge is power.


Monday, November 12, 2012

Some thinks to ponder...


quotes for the day




Hands that help are holier than lips that pray.
- Sai Baba

Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
- Lauren Bacall

You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.
- Richard Bach

One must always maintain one's connection to the past and yet ceaselessly pull away from it.
- Gaston Bachelard

 You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
- Joan Baez

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
- Walter Bagehot

There is a way to look at the past. Don't hide from it. It will not catch you - if you don't repeat it.
- Pearl Bailey

There is never time in the future in which we will work out our salvation. The challenge is in the moment; the time is always now.
- James Baldwin

I'd rather regret the things I have done than the things I have not.
- Lucille Ball

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.
- Tallulah Bankhead

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
- Carl Bard

Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.
- James M. Barrie

Love thy neighbor as thy self, but choose thy neighborhood.
- Louise Beal

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Something I read on A**book... ; )

“Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.” ~ Lao Tzu




Sorry I don't have enough time to post something of substance, but I thought you'd appreciate this quote that I snagged from my old friend Scott's post. Gotta run to a Dr. appt. "Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Dancing as fast as I can...

Hi there, friends! It’s the beginning of June, so I’ve been out of school for a MONTH! YAY!! I have a piece of paper now that says I’ve put my time in, and I’m at least minimally competent to Serve Humans. And, as I’d promised myself, I’ve been creating things. A LOT. Some good, some iffy, and a few that are actually kinda impressive. : )
I need some kind of identifying moniker to put on the items I’ve been creating, but haven’t come up w/ anything yet. So…I’m fairly obsessively making pendants out of Scrabble tiles. It’s not a novel idea, really, but I hope to have found a niche or two, that will make mine stand out. In the morning, I’m planning to package up several pendants and send them to a friend of mine. He’s a very productive sort, and I approached him a couple of months ago about the possibility of supplying the band he’s in with some one-of-a-kind merchandise. He’s gonna check it out and then we’re gonna talk about money.
Having NO business sense, whatsoever, I’m feeling rather vulnerable, but like I said, he’s a friend, and I believe his integrity is above average. Actually, more than that, but I can’t think of a good word that describes how highly I think of him. I guess it speaks of how solid my relationship is with the Big Guy, b/c almost every other day I’m telling him something impressive about my friend, and it occurred to me recently that anyone else would be insecure or worse, but Big Guy gets it.
I’ve been way isolated of late., so having more than a 2-sentence text with anyone is really unusual, and an INTELLIGENT, conversation about real stuff, that just thrills me.
News: My Sweet man has encouraged his employer to hire my eldest and his gf. She has lots of experience waiting tables and has a decent head on her shoulders. My boy, on the other hand…well, I think he’ll do fine. He’s just not gung ho about working 6 days a week. (Breaking your heart, ain’t it? Yeah, mine too.) He’s not going to get much pity here, especially since his gf is working AND attending classes. It’s been entertaining when she comes over after training and tells that all the servers have a mad crush on the Big Guy.  It makes me giggle thinking of the little (and NOT so little, I understand) girls crushing on my Man. Big Guy said it himself: a lot of the attraction is probably the fact that he’s a NO-DRAMA kinda guy, and that makes him REALLY stand out there. The gf said the first training day she got an unwanted earful of all the boys her “Trainer” had slept with…(I guess that generation isn’t really familiar with the words “Cheap” “Prostitute” “Ho”…or at least the negative connotation has not yet sunk in for them. Geez.
So, as I’m typing this up at home, I’ll be sending/posting this for you in a little while. PLEASE tell me what you think of my pendants, and yes, the pics are not nearly as good as I’d like them, but everything is subject to revision and improvement, right?

Blurry much? :-/
I don’t think I want to get in the E-bay pool, and Etsy is really intimidating, too. I’m thinking of maybe just creating an email address and selling online…?


Scrabble Tile Pendants pre-silver-plated bails

I think I need a business manager.
So, O, Silent Ones, how have things been in YOUR neck of the woods?
OH, and just so ya know: America’s Got Talent is back on and it’s just as awesome as ever. I love me some Howie Mandell, and the Stern isn’t nearly as much of an ass as previously thought. Those of you who’ve successfully disengaged from your tv’s, you can get the clips online. Please let me know what’s new in your worlds.