We've begun attending a church in the little town we've been living in for a little over a year. It's so small that the middle and high schools are in the same building, if that tells you anything. The place we moved from last had a high school building that looked like either a small city or a large penitentiary. So, after scraping by for about a year, (digging gas money out of the couch) to get to the church we'd first been going to, we finally took the leap and decided to try this other place. Considering the size of the town we're in, this church is REALLY big, but considering all the various places (to worship) I've been in my life, it's on the smaller side.
The first time I went, the Big Guy was resting on the couch after working too many hours in a row, so I walked in alone. A friend of mine from AA/NA had told me that she went there, so I looked for her. The 1st thing I noticed was that the congregation was predominantly OLLLDDD. No biggie, as far as I'm concerned, I just need some living, breathing GOD-SEEKING folks to hang with and learn from. Second thing I noticed was the music. Oh my gosh. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was in, well, in for it. I felt self-conscious for one thing, b/c I gathered that my friend was the church's Recovering Addict ; ) so anyone paying attention would be watching to see how much of a heathen I was. Ok. Well, the music.
you know that kind of nasally, quartet kinda stuff usually reserved for AM radio? Yeah, that's what it was. Not my cup of tea, to be sure, but then Brownsville's music was fairly "country", so that's not at all a deal-breaker. Hey, if GOD likes it, I reckon I can learn to. The thing is, the only time I really EVER heard that kind of music was when I was with my Dad. It immediately brought back memories of helping him build his house in Polk City, when he'd have his little AM radio blaring on what was only a slab of cement for a while, with water jugs scattered around, and him working hard with his shirt off and the manditory (for him) "hankie" (bandana) hanging out of his right rear pocket. As unmusical as he was, bless his heart ; ), Dad appreciated music more than most ppl I knew. When I'd go visit him or help for a bit, I remember the water jugs almost invariably had a touch of menthol smoke in them, from him exhaling when he'd get a drink.
So, I sat down at this church, with Dad's music playing, and I guess it caught me off guard, b/c w/in a matter of minutes, it was all I could do to not break down and bawl like a baby. Yeah, the tears were roling down my cheeks, and my friend put her arm around me & gave me a squeeze. I explained about the music being my Dad's favorite, and she shared that her Dad had also died, but he went just a few months ago. So, I'm sitting there trying to keep from dripping snot on myself or my friend, and I was grateful to have come that day. I can't remember the names of the songs they sang, for the most part, but I know one of them that Dad loved was "I've Never Been so Homesick Before". It was like he was there in the room with us. I miss him so. So, I was blessed that day, and when my Sweety came with me the next time, he really liked it, too. It had really been a long time since we'd felt the Holy Spirit like we did there.
So, Monday night we went to the "addiction/recovery"
I'm grateful that other than blowing off a little here about it, I'm not feeling the need to really share my thoughts about that deal with anyone. The guy had said after church when Big Guy was talking to him, that there were a lot of ppl who came for a few times and then never returned. "They must not have wanted the LORD..." omg.
Oh, I heard Chris Fabry on the radio earlier, and he was talking to a Pastor who's struggled with a porn addiction for many years, and wrote a book about it...It made me think of a blogger-friend who has this issue as well.
Chris Fabry Live! - Know Your Bible // A Pastor's Journey Through Sex Addiction
Air Date August 23, 2012
That's the heading from the radio show, if my friend should come by... E. H., I hope you're doing ok.
So, what's new wit you???
What was the title of the book that the pastor wrote about to help through addictions and porn?
ReplyDeleteI guess that's why I am where I am concerning church. I believe Jesus said it's enough to love the Lord and love everybody else. That's good enough for me.
ReplyDeleteI feel you. I know that you also know that we're to not "forsake the gathering together of believers", so I won't remind you of that. ; ) Finding a group of Christ-followers that seem to have what we want is, doubtless, a tiring and sometimes frustrating exercise. But the way my outlook on EVEYTHING is sweetend when achieved, makes it worth it, to me. And I know that I perform better in general when I have social/emotional ties w/ like-minded individuals.
DeleteThanks for the reply!!
The name of the book is "Ashamed No More", but I know I've read "Every Man'sBattle" and you can get info on that @ http://newlife.com/ There's a book for women that goes with it, (for what it's worth to you)called "Every Woman's Desire" And here's the link to the site for support online:
ReplyDeletehttp://wivesinthebattle.ning.com/main
I hope this helps. Addictions are ugly, regardless of their specifics. It's not your fault if your husband or family member struggles with this. That was the most wonderful and freeing revelation for me, when I discovered it in someone close to me.