"Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly." -Albert Einstein

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Hi. I don't know when I'm going to be able to get to you more regularly, and I am sorry for being so irregular. Here's what I'm thinking about today:
We've begun attending a church in the little town we've been living in for a little over a year. It's so small that the middle and high schools are in the same building, if that tells you anything. The place we moved from last had a high school building that looked like either a small city or a large penitentiary. So, after scraping by for about a year, (digging gas money out of the couch) to get to the church we'd first been going to, we finally took the leap and decided to try this other place. Considering the size of the town we're in, this church is REALLY big, but considering all the various places (to worship) I've been in my life, it's on the smaller side.
The first time I went, the Big Guy was resting on the couch after working too many hours in a row, so I walked in alone. A friend of mine from AA/NA had told me that she went there, so I looked for her. The 1st thing I noticed was that the congregation was predominantly OLLLDDD. No biggie, as far as I'm concerned, I just need some living, breathing GOD-SEEKING folks to hang with and learn from. Second thing I noticed was the music. Oh my gosh. It didn't take long for me to realize that I was in, well, in for it. I felt self-conscious for one thing, b/c I gathered that my friend was the church's Recovering Addict ; ) so anyone paying attention would be watching to see how much of a heathen I was. Ok. Well, the music.
you know that kind of nasally, quartet kinda stuff usually reserved for AM radio? Yeah, that's what it was. Not my cup of tea, to be sure, but then Brownsville's music was fairly "country", so that's not at all a deal-breaker. Hey, if GOD likes it, I reckon I can learn to. The thing is, the only time I really EVER heard that kind of music was when I was with my Dad. It immediately brought back memories of helping him build his house in Polk City, when he'd have his little AM radio blaring on what was only a slab of cement for a while, with water jugs scattered around, and him working hard with his shirt off and the manditory (for him) "hankie" (bandana) hanging out of his right rear pocket. As unmusical as he was, bless his heart ; ), Dad appreciated music more than most ppl I knew. When I'd go visit him or help for a bit, I remember the water jugs almost invariably had a touch of menthol smoke in them, from him exhaling when he'd get a drink.
So, I sat down at this church, with Dad's music playing, and I guess it caught me off guard, b/c w/in a matter of minutes, it was all I could do to not break down and bawl like a baby. Yeah, the tears were roling down my cheeks, and my friend put her arm around me & gave me a squeeze. I explained about the music being my Dad's favorite, and she shared that her Dad had also died, but he went just a few months ago. So, I'm sitting there trying to keep from dripping snot on myself or my friend, and I was grateful to have come that day. I can't remember the names of the songs they sang, for the  most part, but I know one of them that Dad loved was "I've Never Been so Homesick Before".   It was like he was there in the room with us. I miss him so. So, I was blessed that day, and when my Sweety came with me the next time, he really liked it, too. It had really been a long time since we'd felt the Holy Spirit like we did there.
So, Monday night we went to the "addiction/recovery" meeting class, to see if we might be able to help or if they would be something to help us. Well, that's really another post, entirely, but suffice it to say, the "Instructor" has an awfully high opinion of himself and his knowledge of, well, everything as far as I could tell. I didn't feel it necessary to inform him that I'd been clean for a little bit, and in fact was working on a degree in Addictions Counseling. And he didn't ask. I didn't appreciate the way he kept talking about how bad and ungodly the 12 step programs were (AA & NA) and he was NOT interested in anything that might have clued him in to facts that contradicted his opinion of them. For example, as he was "teaching" us, he stated that he believed that Jesus was to be our Sponsor, and that we didn't need to confess our sins to any person, just keep it between Jesus and us. Being the soft-spoken, and uneducated person that I am on this topic, I mentioned that the Bible said that we are to confess our sins "one to another", and that maybe the 12 steps had us talk to others among other reasons, to get audible feedback. Then he went into a monologue about how the NIV Bible was translated by homosexuals, and named off this one and that one...Wow. Note to self: don't let yourself be found dogging anyone or anything that you dont' know about, and even if you DO, the Word says to talk about positive (basically) things, to encourage each other, and that was NOT doing it. It was interesting, I'll give it that. Yeah, so I've gone on long enough about that. The Big Guy liked it a lot, so I'm willing to go back. At this point, we've been so far and few between when it comes to meetings, I'm willing to get whatever is available. (Still got that stinkin' thinkin' problem, ya know. But DON'T say anything to the TEACHER OF ALL THINGS BIBLICAL AND OR ADDICTIONAL.
I'm grateful that other than blowing off a little here about it, I'm not feeling the need to really share my thoughts about that deal with anyone.  The guy had said after church when Big Guy was talking to him, that there were a lot of ppl who came for a few times and then never returned. "They must not have wanted the LORD..." omg.
Oh, I heard Chris Fabry on the radio earlier, and he was talking to a Pastor who's struggled with a porn addiction for many years, and wrote a book about it...It made me think of a blogger-friend who has this issue as well.

Chris Fabry Live! - Know Your Bible // A Pastor's Journey Through Sex Addiction

Air Date August 23, 2012

That's the heading from the radio show, if my friend should come by... E. H., I hope you're doing ok.

So, what's new wit you???