"Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly." -Albert Einstein

Thursday, September 27, 2012

September is almost gone, already.

Hello, friends and comerades (you know who you are);
I had a few spare moments, while Little Bit is at a football game, so I wanted to write. In the past few weeks I've been having rather uncomfortable discussions with my ex (L.B.'s paternal unit), and they are disturbing. Quite.
It's probably been 6 months ago that the x revealed that he had been diagnosed with 2 serious conditions, one of which is fatal. I think it took Little Bit until last month to get ahold of what it's meant when his dad told him that he was SICK. As an intelligent 12-year-old, the boy's initial reaction was "Idk why he says he's sick. He doesn't have a fever and he's not throwing up." Say it with me: Ignorance is bliss. Yeah.
This evening I txtd the x to inquire about a recent Dr.s visit, and the told me about a procedure they did and will do again in a month. Something about putting bands on the veins in his throat, as a preventative measure, to keep them from rupturing. Sigh. As a person who has been dealing with depression for as many years as I've been aware, this whole turn of events is, well, really bummin' me out. It's not that I will be grieving anything between the x and myself, there's been nothing but animosity there for years. But rather, I can't help but remember how I felt when my Dad died, and feel empathy for my own boys.
I was reminded of a phrase this week that I hadn't heard in a while, but that is SO applicable. "Compassion Fatigue." I've heard it before of course, (in the various courses about Human Services, it tends to come up.) but when a friend said it, it was like a light bulb went off. I KNEW that whenever my friends had too much awfulness going on at the same time, it wore me out and I'd withdraw for a time, to rest. But now I get it completely.
I wonder how often Jesus had compassion fatigue? He was the most compassionate man ever, after all.
Library's closing.   ttfn