Recovery Coach Training

So a few weeks ago I was in the first part of the ICAADA training to be a Peer Recovery Coach. I wanted to tell you about some of the highlights, especially yesterday's walk through the hall of shame. It felt like a viewing you might go to after someone dies. I have pictures to add, but they will have to be posted later.
The topic yesterday was "Stigma". We broke up into 3 groups and each group made a list on large pieces of newsprint paper of the words that come to mind when you think about:
Alcoholics
Drug Addicts
Mentally Ill
Recovery.
Each group made a pretty extensive list.
Then we hung the lists up together in the meeting room across the hall from the classroom. We were instructed to walk through the room, single-file, silently.
The entire class walked through the room in about 15 minutes' time, then returned to our seats, still silently, considering the things we'd just read.
I will add the posters when I am able.
I think I can safely say that most of us were in tears after this reminder of who we had been, for so long. Even with so much time, so many years, between myself and the days of drinking and drugging, it brought back many painful memories.
I 'd believed the lies for so long, and run so hard after the (non-existent) rewards smoke and mirrors of the party-girl/addicts' lifestyle.In that room, with 2 dozen of our peers, we confronted our collective demons.

 Now, before I continue, I feel that I should tell you that not ALL of these adjectives described me, completely. But, yes; most did.
We discussed what had just happened. We talked about the stigmas of addiction, alcoholism, and of mental illness, all of which were represented in our group. Most of us saw our former selves on more than one of the papers.
I can't recall what my peers said, but the feelings were all the same: guilt, shame, sorrow, self-loathing, to name a few.
What I shared afterward, was that it felt a lot like when I did my first 5th Step. Writing the inventory wasn't so hard, but letting someone else see the labels I'd carried around, was terrifying. I was deeply afraid that all the things I'd thought about myself, even before ever picking up, would be confirmed as true
.But what I said then, was that I'm a little bit less of that person, every day that I stay clean. I never want to be her, again.
I will be eternally grateful for the Trainers and my friends who went on that disturbing walk through the "Wall of Pain" with me. We learned, that week, how to better use our pains to help the addict/alcoholics that God will faithfully our paths.

Helpers gonna help

2015...ready or not here it is!

I wish I had a glorious tale of intrique to share, as to where I've been these last few months.
Truth be told, it's been life on life's Gods terms and it has been, I suppose, a time of more peeling of the onion that is me.
I've been working in a group home and an adult daycare since March. I like my job. I know I'm not bad at it. I'm learning to extend grace to my co-workers and accept unconditional love from a couple of the folks I work with.
I helped start an addiction/recovery meeting at church. What began as the Pastor, a friend in recovery, and myself has grown to a group of 15-20 average. I guess 2/3 of the attendees are addicts, the rest are there as "support". It is encouraging to know that more than a couple of those (normies) who regularly go to services on Sunday mornings want to help the addicts in the community. W
hether or not they have an actual grasp on all of the ugliness that goes along with the life of an active drug addict, I don't know. Thieves, liars, murderers, child abusers, prostitutes...yes we are pretty well represented there, for about an hour & a half one night a week.
Having a man respected and trusted in the community want to help us modern-day lepers